We all know a bad loser when we see one and we all know what a tantrum looks like. So there has been something wearily familiar about Trump the grump’s carry-on in the White House. If you have watched a football match or dealt with kids, or indeed adults, you’ll have come across his type before.
Except I am not sure we have. When you think about it, his kind of behaviour is actually rather rare. Then again, normalising the abnormal and hitherto unacceptable would appear to be the president’s special gift.
I have seen many a tantrum in my time; I’m afraid I have had a few myself. But this is of a different order. It’s one thing to spit the dummy, throw the toys out and make a noise; it’s quite another to keep up the performance without calming down, sulking for a bit and then muttering a few apologies before moving on. I must admit I have upended a Monopoly board and, in the field of sporting endeavour, I once literally took my bat home. Not that it mattered; the others had bats of their own so they carried on without me. What a loser.
Sportspeople, especially footballers, are generally thought to be poor role models. Setting aside how they spend their private lives, on the pitch they contest every refereeing decision, feign injuries, cause injuries and generally cheat. But they know how to accept defeat. A match can be as hotly contested and ill-tempered as you like, yet, once the final whistle is blown, you rarely see anything but handshakes, hugs and the odd smile. When I was a kid watching West Brom play fierce local derbies against Aston Villa and Wolves on boggy 70s pitches, I remember being gobsmacked in grudging admiration at the sight of all the bonhomie as they trudged off at the end. I assumed this is what it meant to be an adult. For my part, I fantasised about harming every member of the opposition. Usually these homicidal urges passed within hours or sometimes days. I’ve grown up now and get these feelings only occasionally.
We have all seen football managers moaning about this decision or that, and it’s never a good look. But they accept defeat, albeit grudgingly and with bad grace. Boxers knock seven bells out of each other in the ring after insulting each other royally in the buildup to a fight. But when the contest’s over, awash in blood, snot, sweat and tears, they hug like they mean it. The result is accepted. To do otherwise, trumping up charges of foul play, demeans nobody more than it demeans the loser.
“Show me a good loser,” said Vince Lombardi, “and I’ll show you a loser.” The renowned American football coach may have had a point but, in the wrong hands, read the wrong way, these kinds of words may be problematic. How many times have we heard it said in great admiration of anyone successful, especially athletes, that a key to their success is that they “never know when they’re beaten”? In a similar spirit, they will often be lauded for doing “whatever it takes” to win and even “refusing to accept defeat”. It’s not the biggest jump in a kid’s mind from hearing all that to getting echoes of it in the behaviour of that funny man in the White House.
The other night, Matthew Taylor, chief executive of the Royal Society for the Encouragement of Arts, Manufactures and Commerce, tweeted: “I can’t really understand why a full-scale coup attempt in the world’s most powerful nation is being widely treated like an amusing temper tantrum.” Good point, that: why aren’t we taking it more seriously? Perhaps it is partly because we can’t bear to show our kids we’re concerned; if we take him seriously then perhaps they will, too. I would much rather our young were laughing at him than worrying about him or, worse still, emulating him in some way. To laugh at him feels more useful, in that it’s crueller; that stuff works in the playground. Whether it stops this comical tantrum turning into something darker is another matter.
• Adrian Chiles is a Guardian columnist
Source: US Politics - theguardian.com
