2 Books Celebrating Happy Marriages

Dear readers,

Marriage is like a second-grade spelling test: We shield our work while glancing around to see if a neighbor’s answers match. And I do mean work! Sharing your life with someone can be challenging, but it’s also fun and oddly liberating because you never really know how your weird union compares with anyone else’s. Eventually you learn to keep your eyes on your own paper.

Unless you’re a reader. Then you’re privy to the occasional marriage memoir, in which some brave, generous, often beleaguered soul lifts the curtain on the whole operation and tells the rest of us what’s going on behind the scenes. This year has been a bonanza for voyeurs, thanks to Leslie Jamison (“Splinters”), Lyz Lenz (“This American Ex-Wife”) and Molly Roden Winter (“More”). Honorable mentions go to Maggie Smith for “You Could Make This Place Beautiful,” which came out last year, and “Liars” by Sarah Manguso, a novel so real-feeling it could be a body double for a true story.

With one polyamorous exception, all of the above skew to the divorce end of the spectrum. This is not to say that their authors haven’t lived happily ever after; they’re doing just fine, if acknowledgments pages and Instagram posts are to be believed.

But in honor of the 25th anniversary of the day I accidentally smeared car grease across my dress and had my name spelled wrong in the program — also known as my wedding day, Sept. 25, 1999 — I decided to reread two memoirs of happy marriages. These books were every bit as candid and thought-provoking and, in some ways, aspirational as I remembered.

—Liz

PS. Both of these memoirs are really sad. Don’t read too much into it.