Aurelia Butler

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    I Think My Son Is Gay. Should I Talk to Him About Coming Out?

    I’d love to be able to have honest conversations about what he’s going through.I am the mother of two delightful teenage boys in the throes of navigating all the challenges that youth brings. Over the past few years, it has become evident to me that my younger son is most likely gay. I believe I am the only person in the family to have noticed his interest in rainbow flags or his outrage at injustices to the L.G.B.T.Q.+ community, among other, subtler, indications.I’ve always thought it quite unfair that only those who fall under the L.G.B.T.Q.+ umbrella have the onerous burden of “coming out.” Last summer my son weathered the heartbreak of a dear friend, likely a crush, moving away. For Valentine’s Day, a female classmate asked my son out, and he turned her down. His life is getting increasingly complicated. I don’t want to push him to come out before he’s ready, but I’d love to be able to have honest conversations about some of what he’s going through. My question is: Should I wait and let him come out when he’s ready, or is there a way I can save him the trouble? What is the most thoughtful way to approach this? — Name WithheldFrom the Ethicist:I get why you want to spare him the awkward dance of coming out, but for many young people, it’s a way to claim an identity on their terms. (For many parents, in turn, it involves pretending that the declaration comes as news.) Pressing fast-forward could leave him with the sense that he has lost a measure of agency — that a big moment has been pre-empted. It could also make him feel exposed or rushed. There are all sorts of ways that you can indicate your loving acceptance and reassure him that you’ll be a soft place to land. Indeed, I’m sure you’ve already done so. When he’s ready, you’ll be there — arms open, heart steady, no script needed.Readers RespondThe previous question was from a reader wondering whether to disclose the toxic products used on the shared lawn when selling a condo. The reader wrote: “I am hoping to sell my condo. I live in a homeowner’s association that still uses many toxic landscaping products. … Several residents have worked over the past two years, without success, to change the association’s landscaping practices. What is my obligation to disclose these harmful products to prospective buyers, especially those with young children and pets?”We are having trouble retrieving the article content.Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and log into your Times account, or subscribe for all of The Times.Thank you for your patience while we verify access.Already a subscriber? Log in.Want all of The Times? Subscribe. More

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    Ready for Their Reboot: How Galleries Plumb Art History’s Forgotten Talent

    Saara Pritchard, an art adviser, was visiting a friend in Miami when a painting in the bedroom caught her eye. Bordered in silver leaf, it was a close-cropped, black-and-white image of John F. Kennedy, eyes skyward and mouth slightly agape. The haunting image resembled a death mask — as if made by the love child of Andy Warhol and the Surrealist Giorgio de Chirico. Who, Pritchard wondered, had painted it?The answer was Marcia Marcus, a popular artist in the downtown New York scene in the 1960s and ’70s who had since faded from view. Pritchard, 40, set out to learn everything she could about Marcus. Within a year she was standing in the home of one of the artist’s daughters, Jane Barrell Yadav, in Yonkers, N.Y., who had more than 200 of her mother’s canvases. The paintings were packed tightly in closets and makeshift storage racks in the living room.Marcia Marcus from “The Human Situation.” Left, “Tyna, Alvin, Baby,” 1970-71; right, “Family II,” 1970. The two girls are modeled on her daughters Kate, left, and Jane, with their father. via Lévy Gorvy Dayan, New York; Photo by Elisabeth BernsteinThrough June 21, many of those artworks are on view at Lévy Gorvy Dayan, a stately Upper East Side gallery, as part of “The Human Situation,” an exhibition conceived by Pritchard that put Marcus’s work in dialogue with two better-known female painters from the era, Alice Neel and Sylvia Sleigh. Over the past two and a half years, Pritchard has worked alongside Barrell Yadav and her sister Kate Prendergast to piece together Marcus’s story in the hope of turning her from an art-historical footnote into a blue-chip star.Marcus is among a growing group of artists who have benefited from what could be called “the rediscovery industrial complex”: a cottage industry within the art market that looks to the past to find figures — often women and artists of color — neglected by the establishment. By repackaging them for a contemporary audience, savvy dealers hope to enrich the art-historical canon even as they make a healthy profit.The upside can be considerable. Consider the case of the painter Lynne Drexler, who lived on a remote island in Maine. Before she died in 1999, she sold her work to tourists for as little as $50. In recent years, her lyrical landscapes have sold for more than $1 million at auction.We are having trouble retrieving the article content.Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and log into your Times account, or subscribe for all of The Times.Thank you for your patience while we verify access.Already a subscriber? Log in.Want all of The Times? Subscribe. More

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    Ancient Trees, Dwindling in the Wild, Thrive on Sacred Ground

    The Putuo hornbeam, a hardy tree that thrives in the damp air by the East China Sea, could be easily overlooked by visitors to the Huiji Temple on an island in the Zhejiang Province.The tree has an unremarkable appearance: spotty bark, small stature and serrated leaves with veins as neatly spaced as notebook lines. But its status is singular. As far as conservationists can tell, no other mature specimen of its species is alive in the wild.The holdout on the island, Mount Putuo, has been there for about two centuries. And according to a study published Wednesday in the journal Current Biology, its setting may have been its salvation.The study found that religious sites in eastern China have become refuges for old, ancient and endangered trees. Since the early years of the Common Era, Buddhist and Taoist temples have sheltered plants that otherwise struggled to find a foothold, including at least eight species that now exist nowhere else on earth.“This form of biodiversity conservation, rooted in cultural and traditional practices, has proven to be remarkably resilient, persisting even in the face of modern civilization and rapid economic development,” said Zhiyao Tang, a professor of ecology at Peking University and one of the study’s authors.The trees survived at religious sites in part because they were planted and cultivated there. The report noted that Buddhism and Taoism emphasize spiritual association with plants and the temples tended to be left undisturbed, shielding the areas from deforestation.We are having trouble retrieving the article content.Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and log into your Times account, or subscribe for all of The Times.Thank you for your patience while we verify access.Already a subscriber? Log in.Want all of The Times? Subscribe. More

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    Jacob Long’s Big Bet on American Woolen, a Connecticut Textile Mill

    On a recent afternoon, Jacob Long gave a tour of the Connecticut wool mill that has become his biggest investment, his life’s mission and an unrelenting source of worry.A factory building murkily lit even in daylight, the vast space contains 40 high-speed looms, as well as decommissioned spinning equipment that was thrown in when he bought the mill 11 years ago even though he had no experience in textile manufacturing.Mr. Long, 54, talks quickly and bounds rather than walks. More than one colleague described him as the Energizer Bunny. He wears slim-fitting dress shirts, slim-cut trousers and chunky, stylish eyeglasses. Having worked as a banker in Europe for 25 years, he now comes off as a stranger in his own country: He speaks fluent Italian and sometimes struggles to come up with the American word or phrase to describe something.He led the way past the old, idle equipment to a prized new machine, a German-made sample warper that cost $300,000. It was an essential part of his grand plan to revive America’s craft textile heritage — and finally make a profit.“I convinced my wife to sell her last apartment in Italy to buy this machine,” Mr. Long said, adding with a nervous laugh: “Please don’t talk to my wife.”For a decade, Mr. Long has been delivering a well-worn — and largely ignored — sales pitch for his improbable venture, comparing it to the craft breweries that uplifted local economies with an emphasis on quality over quantity.We are having trouble retrieving the article content.Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and log into your Times account, or subscribe for all of The Times.Thank you for your patience while we verify access.Already a subscriber? Log in.Want all of The Times? Subscribe. More

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    Trump Budget Eliminates Funding for Crucial Global Vaccination Programs

    The spending proposal terminates support of health programs that, according to the proposal, “do not make Americans safer.”The Trump administration’s proposed budget for the coming fiscal year eliminates funding for programs that provide lifesaving vaccines around the world, including immunizations for polio.The budget, submitted to Congress last week, proposes to eliminate the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention’s global health unit, effectively shutting down its $230 million immunization program: $180 million for polio eradication and the rest for measles and other vaccine-preventable diseases. The budget plan also withdraws financial support for Gavi, the international vaccine alliance that purchases vaccines for children in developing countries.Overall, the budget request explicitly follows President Trump’s America First policy, slashing funds for global health programs that fight H.I.V. and malaria, and cutting support altogether to fight diseases that affect only poorer countries.“The request eliminates funding for programs that do not make Americans safer, such as family planning and reproductive health, neglected tropical diseases, and nonemergency nutrition,” the proposal said.Many public health experts said that such thinking is flawed because infectious diseases routinely breach borders. The United States is battling multiple measles outbreaks, prompting the C.D.C. last week to warn travelers about the risks of contracting measles. Each of those outbreaks began with a case of measles contracted by an international traveler.“Every single measles case this year is related to actual importations of the virus into the United States,” said Dr. Walter Orenstein, associate director of the Emory Vaccine Center and a former director of the United States’ Immunization Program.We are having trouble retrieving the article content.Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and log into your Times account, or subscribe for all of The Times.Thank you for your patience while we verify access.Already a subscriber? Log in.Want all of The Times? Subscribe. More

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    Jury in El Salvador Convicts 3 Ex-Officers in 1982 Killings of Dutch Journalists

    A jury convicted the former military officers for the murder of four Dutch television journalists who were covering the Salvadoran civil war.A jury in El Salvador convicted three former senior military officers of murder in the 1982 killings of four Dutch journalists on Tuesday, according to the Comunicándonos Foundation, a nonprofit group that has long pursued justice in the case.The three officers — Gen. José Guillermo García, 91, a former defense minister; Col. Francisco Morán, 93, a former police director; and Col. Mario Adalberto Reyes Mena, 85 — each received 15-year prison sentences after a trial that took about 10 hours.The jury also condemned the government of El Salvador for delaying a resolution of the case for more than four decades. General García and Colonel Morán are in detention in El Salvador after being arrested in 2022, and Colonel Reyes Mena is in Virginia awaiting extradition, according to the Dutch government.The four young Dutch journalists — Koos Koster, Jan Kuiper, Joop Willemsen and Hans ter Laag — were working for a now-defunct Dutch broadcaster, covering a brutal civil war that killed tens of thousands of people.In Chalatenango, El Salvador, on March 17, 1982, they were traveling behind rebel lines with three guerrilla fighters. Soldiers from the Salvadoran army were waiting to ambush them and shot and killed the men, according to the Dutch government.The Dutch ambassador to Costa Rica and El Salvador, Arjen van den Berg, center, at the Judicial Center in Chalatenango, El Salvador, after the sentencing of three former military commanders on Tuesday.Marvin Recinos/Agence France-Presse — Getty ImagesAt the time, the Salvadoran army told the news media that the four journalists had died when guerrillas accompanying them opened fire on an army patrol. But a 1993 report by the United Nations Truth Commission for El Salvador concluded that the army had set up the ambush. The report also found that the killings were ordered by Colonel Reyes Mena, who had since moved to the United States.“Reporters who went to the scene in Chalatenango Province north of the capital found bloody clothing and 30 spent M16 shells near the spot where associates of the four men said they had been dropped off at 5 p.m.,” The New York Times reported in 1982, adding that residents of nearby villages had said they heard 20 minutes of gunfire.The Dutch journalists had been shot repeatedly at short range, the Times report said.The killings were a major story in the Netherlands, fueling widespread outrage. In the decades since, the Dutch government and organizations in El Salvador have continued to push for justice in the case.In a blog post before the trial on a Dutch government website, Arjen van den Berg, the country’s ambassador to Costa Rica and El Salvador, said he remembered the atmosphere in the Netherlands at the time. People were angry, he said, “partly because these men were just doing their jobs, but partly also because it was unimaginable for Dutch people that a government would kill journalists in cold blood.”Dutch officials expressed relief and gratitude for the sentence. “This is an important moment in the fight against impunity and in the pursuit of justice for the four Dutch journalists and their next of kin,” Caspar Veldkamp, the outgoing Dutch minister of foreign affairs, wrote on social media. More

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    The Creativity Challenge: Practice “Intentional Daydreaming”

    <!–> [–><!–> –><!–> [–><!–> –><!–> [–><!–>Sometimes, I miss my subway stop. But on the whole, daydreaming is a positive thing, a portal to more happiness and innovative thinking. We could probably be getting more out of it, though, said Madeleine Gross, a research scientist at the University of California, Santa Barbara, who studies curiosity and […] More

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    Before the Attack in Boulder, the Gaza War Consumed the City Council

    Activists have regularly disrupted council meetings to demand that the city call for a cease-fire in Gaza. The unusual tension suggests a changing Boulder.In the foothills of the Rocky Mountains, the college town of Boulder, Colo., has long been known as a laid-back, hippie haven. Its residents cherish the outdoors, and its leaders are often elected on reliably liberal promises to expand affordable housing, address climate change and increase racial equity.In recent months, however, the City Council has been pulled apart over an entirely different matter: the war in Gaza.Pro-Palestinian protesters have regularly interrupted meetings with shouting and other unruly behavior, even prompting the council to temporarily move its meetings online to avoid further disruption and later adding rules to more easily bar people from City Hall.It was against that backdrop that an outsider, a man from Colorado Springs, Colo., yelled “Free Palestine,” the authorities said, as he threw Molotov cocktails at demonstrators marching on Sunday to support the Israeli hostages. Twelve people were injured. Federal officials plan to charge the man with a hate crime.There was no indication that he had any connection to Boulder, his target apparently chosen through an online search for Colorado groups that he believed were supportive of Israel, according to law enforcement officials. But the attack rattled a city that was already feeling consumed by tensions over a war thousands of miles away.“It’s been a hard time here in Boulder,” Mayor Aaron Brockett said. “We reiterate over and over and over again that international affairs are not the business of the Boulder City Council, and our work is to clean the streets and make sure the water comes out when you turn the tap.”We are having trouble retrieving the article content.Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and log into your Times account, or subscribe for all of The Times.Thank you for your patience while we verify access.Already a subscriber? Log in.Want all of The Times? Subscribe. More