Aurelia Butler

More stories

  • 150 Shares119 Views

    in Elections

    My Mother-in-Law Wants to Be in the Delivery Room With Me. Help!

    A reader asks for help setting boundaries with her husband’s mother, who has floated the idea of a lengthy stay with the couple after the arrival of their firstborn.My husband and I are expecting our first child this year, and our parents will become first-time grandparents. As much as I love my mother-in-law, she can be controlling — even from 500 miles away. Recently, she told us that she wants to visit us monthly until the baby arrives and to stay with us for two weeks after the baby is born. Later, I heard that she told my husband and others that she wants to be in the delivery room! I know that this is all coming from a good place, but it feels overwhelming. I would prefer less frequent visits. My husband and I work full time, and our weekends are packed with baby planning. After the baby is born, we want time alone to bond as a new family. How can I politely set boundaries with my mother-in-law?WIFEBe careful not to become your mother-in-law. In my experience, so-called controlling people are sometimes shoved into that position. Consider your husband, for instance: He seems to be mostly absent from your strategizing. Is that because you are trying to control the relationship with his mother or because you can’t count on him to step up and speak to her himself? If he hasn’t spoken to her yet, why hasn’t he?Don’t get me wrong: Your mother-in-law sounds like a challenging figure, and her plans for the coming months seem daunting. Still, it is not your job to shoulder all the emotional labor in your marriage. Too often, that interpersonal work falls to women. So I am going to suggest that your husband communicate your joint decisions about visits with his family.What’s more, his decades of experience with his mother presumably make him better qualified than you to express your family’s needs to her. If he wants help, I’m here for him! (I bet you are, too.) I expect your whole family is feeling exuberant about the birth of your child — which is all the more reason for you and your husband to share the load of discussing your desires and boundaries with them.Miguel PorlanValue Your Friend? Then Value His Skills.Over 12 years, my husband and I have become friends with his personal trainer. We have entertained him and his partner, a retired makeup artist, frequently. Recently, we asked his partner to do a makeup session for my daughter and a couple of our friends. He did and took some photos. (I served an elaborate lunch.) Unfortunately, one of my friends was unable to attend. So I emailed him to arrange another session for her. He asked if he should provide his services for free again or if he could charge his discounted rate. I told him I didn’t expect anything for free. So he sent me a bill for the second session, which I paid. Was I wrong to expect that it would be free?We are having trouble retrieving the article content.Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and log into your Times account, or subscribe for all of The Times.Thank you for your patience while we verify access.Already a subscriber? Log in.Want all of The Times? Subscribe. More

  • 125 Shares127 Views

    in Elections

    U.S.-Ukraine Minerals Deal Draft Features Vague Reference to Security Guarantees

    A copy of the agreement obtained by The New York Times says that the United States “supports Ukraine’s effort to obtain security guarantees needed to establish lasting peace.”A draft of an agreement calling for Ukraine to hand over to the United States revenue from natural resources includes new language referring to security guarantees, a provision Kyiv had pressed for vigorously in negotiations.But the reference is vague and does not signal any specific American commitment to safeguarding Ukraine’s security.A copy of the agreement obtained Wednesday by The New York Times included a sentence stating that the United States “supports Ukraine’s effort to obtain security guarantees needed to establish lasting peace.” Previous drafts did not have the phrase on security guarantees.It was not clear whether the draft, dated Tuesday, was a final version.A Ukrainian official briefed on the draft, and several people in Ukraine with knowledge of the talks, confirmed that wording on security had been included in the document. They spoke on the condition of anonymity to discuss private negotiations.The agreement is seen as opening the door to possible continued backing from the United States under the Trump administration, either as aid for the war effort or as enforcement of any cease-fire. Officials in the United States and Ukraine said on Tuesday that a version had been accepted by both sides.President Volodymyr Zelensky of Ukraine is expected to travel to Washington on Friday to sign the agreement with President Trump. The draft obtained by The Times showed Scott Bessent, the U.S. Treasury Secretary, and Yulia Svyrydenko, Ukraine’s economy minister, as the initial signatories.We are having trouble retrieving the article content.Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and log into your Times account, or subscribe for all of The Times.Thank you for your patience while we verify access.Already a subscriber? Log in.Want all of The Times? Subscribe. More

  • 150 Shares79 Views

    in Elections

    What the U.S. and Ukraine May Gain From Trump’s Rare Earth Diplomacy

    The White House and Ukraine struck a deal on strategic resources, a pact that speaks volumes about President Trump’s geopolitical strategy.President Volodymyr Zelensky of Ukraine won some major concessions in tense negotiations with the White House over a piece of the country’s mineral wealth.Agence France-Presse, via Ukrainian Presidential Press Service“They have very good rare earth”Ukraine has finally struck a deal to share revenue from mineral sources with the United States, following weeks of sometimes tense negotiations punctuated by insults and threats by President Trump.What Trump proclaimed as a “very big deal” is indeed noteworthy — both in terms of how his administration is looking to profit from supporting Ukraine and how he is increasingly focusing on strategic nonpetroleum resources as a geopolitical goal.What we know so far: Ukraine would contribute 50 percent of proceeds from the “future monetization” of mineral sales to a fund in which the United States would own a big — but as yet undetermined — stake. The joint venture would reinvest at least some of its revenue to rebuilding Ukraine.It doesn’t contain any security guarantees from Washington, something that President Volodymyr Zelensky of Ukraine had sought. But it also doesn’t contain earlier Trump demands including that Kyiv contribute $500 billion or repay double any future aid from the United States.Trump has been fixated on snapping up minerals. He doesn’t just want Ukraine’s resources, which include lithium, titanium and uranium. He’s also interested in getting access to Russia’s geographical wealth, including so-called rare earth elements like neodymium and promethium. (He appears to mistakenly believe that Ukraine has big stores of rare earth minerals as well.)“I’d like to buy minerals on Russian land too if we can,” Trump said on Tuesday. “They have very good rare earth.”We are having trouble retrieving the article content.Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and log into your Times account, or subscribe for all of The Times.Thank you for your patience while we verify access.Already a subscriber? Log in.Want all of The Times? Subscribe. More

  • 50 Shares151 Views

    in Elections

    One Nation, Under God

    Americans have stopped leaving Christianity. And the country is overwhelmingly spiritual, a new report found.As religion in America declined, experts administered last rites.Churches were approaching “their twilight hour” as attendance fell, The Brookings Institution wrote in 2011. In his 2023 book, “Losing Our Religion,” the evangelical preacher Russell Moore asked: “Can American Christianity survive?”The answer appears to be yes. People have stopped leaving churches en masse, according to a new study released this morning by Pew Research. America’s secularization is on pause for now, likely because of the pandemic and the country’s sustained spirituality. Most Americans — 92 percent of adults — say they hold one or more spiritual beliefs that Pew asked about:Share of U.S. adults who believe … More

  • 125 Shares159 Views

    in Elections

    Israel and Hamas Agree Another Hostage Release and Prisoner Exchange

    The remains of four Israeli hostages will be turned over in exchange for hundreds of Palestinian prisoners whose release had been delayed.Hamas has agreed to release the remains of four Israeli hostages in exchange for hundreds of Palestinian prisoners, Israeli officials and the group said, resolving a dayslong impasse between the two sides.The agreement comes as the first phase of a fragile cease-fire deal draws to a close. Negotiators have yet to reach terms to extend the deal into a more comprehensive truce, raising concerns that the fighting in Gaza could resume.During the first phase, Hamas had agreed to free 25 Israeli hostages and hand over the bodies of eight more in exchange for more than 1,500 Palestinians jailed by Israel. On Saturday, Hamas released the last living captives set to be freed in the first phase, and Israel was supposed to release 620 Palestinian prisoners in return.But Israel delayed the release of the prisoners, saying they would not be freed until Hamas committed not to subject hostages to “humiliating ceremonies” during future exchanges. That raised more questions about any next steps for the cease-fire.Late on Tuesday night, Hamas announced that a deal had been reached for the simultaneous release of Palestinian prisoners in exchange for the remains of the four hostages. Omer Dostri, the spokesman for Israel’s prime minister, confirmed that an agreement had been reached, saying in a text message that the swap would take place on Wednesday night or Thursday.Three hostages who were released on Saturday at a ceremony in Nuseirat, Gaza.Saher Alghorra for The New York TimesSome of the Palestinian prisoners slated for release were convicted of deadly attacks against Israelis, while others — including minors — were held without charge.The impending exchange could be the last in the first phase of cease-fire, leaving both Israelis and Palestinians in limbo. Around 27 hostages and the remains of more than 30 others are still in Gaza, according to the Israeli government.It is unclear whether serious negotiations on the second phase of the agreement have even begun, let alone borne fruit.Mediators have pressed both sides to agree to a second stage. Steve Witkoff, President Trump’s Middle East envoy, was expected to visit the Middle East on Wednesday in an attempt to move the talks forward. But Mr. Witkoff’s travel to the region has now been delayed, according to a U.S. official, who spoke on condition of anonymity to discuss his schedule. More

  • 113 Shares82 Views

    in Elections

    Chile Declares Curfew as Power Outage Sweeps Across Country

    President Gabriel Boric said electricity was being restored, but the situation remained unstable. Chile’s government imposed a curfew and declared a state of emergency in response to a sweeping blackout that cut electricity to most of the country including the capital, Santiago, on Tuesday.The massive outage, which began in the afternoon, affected eight million households across the country, from the northern port city of Arica to Los Lagos in the country’s south, officials said. In Santiago, it knocked out traffic lights, stranded people in elevators and shut down the subway network.Hours later, the government announced a curfew from 10 p.m. to 6 a.m. in the regions affected by the outage. Schools in those regions will be closed on Wednesday, with about 300,000 students affected, officials said.“Today has been a difficult day for millions of countrymen,” Gabriel Boric, the president, said at a news conference on Tuesday night.By late Tuesday, power had been restored to about four million households, Mr. Boric said. But he warned that the recovery was slow and unstable, and the situation remained precarious.He blamed the country’s power companies for allowing the outage to occur and for not restoring power earlier, adding, “This is outrageous.” The outage was caused by failure of a transmission system, officials said.Soldiers and national police officers were sent to affected regions, officials said, and in Santiago, helicopters circled above the city.Emergency services, hospitals, prisons and airports across the country were operating on backup electricity systems and generators, the national disaster agency said.John Bartlett More

  • 88 Shares148 Views

    in Elections

    NYT Crossword Answers for Feb. 26, 2025

    Dan Caprera spreads the word.Jump to: Today’s Theme | Tricky CluesWEDNESDAY PUZZLE — Solving crosswords sometimes makes me feel as though I’m connecting to some communal store of knowledge, a place where idioms, bits of sports jargon, celebrity names and lesser-known abbreviations are held and can be drawn on as needed. There was certainly something instinctive about the way I solved today’s crossword, constructed by Dan Caprera, which hinges on a series of terms and phrases that are both familiar and entirely arbitrary. One special word connects them, and I think you’ll figure out what it is in short order. Well, maybe not so short.Today’s ThemeIf you’re utterly lost on how to proceed, that’s OK. When we last featured a theme like this, in a puzzle by Neville Fogarty from 2020, it appeared on a Thursday — a day with a reputation for challenging solves. So, while today’s grid may be Wednesday-level hard, its use of a rebus (in the sense that the word “long” is represented symbolically, rather than as a word itself) makes it Thursday-worthy, especially with no revealer.The themed entries are 4-, 9-, 15- and 17-Down. The clue [What a stereotypical bartender asks after a horse walks into a bar] (15D) is a helpful way in, since the phrase it alludes to is well known: “Why the long face?” That’s not how the entry is written, though. Instead, we have WHY THE FFAACCEE? The word “face” is long, literally.Here’s another example: The [Inspiration for a seafood chain] (4D) would normally be the well-known pirate Long John Silver, but it appears here as JJOOHHNN SILVER.(I hope it doesn’t take you a TTIIMMEE to figure out the rest of these.)Tricky Clues14A. This entry makes waves whenever it appears because it uses a Latin plural. [Contents of some shots] are SERA, as in the plural of serum.We are having trouble retrieving the article content.Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and log into your Times account, or subscribe for all of The Times.Thank you for your patience while we verify access.Already a subscriber? Log in.Want all of The Times? Subscribe. More

  • 88 Shares140 Views

    in Elections

    Dockworkers Vote to Accept New Labor Contract

    Workers at East and Gulf Coast ports who went on strike briefly in October ratified a deal that includes a 62 percent raise over six years.Dockworkers on the East and Gulf Coasts voted in favor of a new contract on Tuesday, ending labor turbulence at ports that handle a large share of U.S. trade with the rest of the world.The dockworkers’ union, the International Longshoremen’s Association, said nearly 99 percent of its members had supported the contract, which raises wages 62 percent over six years and guarantees jobs when employers introduce technology that can move cargo autonomously.The deal was reached after a short strike in October, the first full-scale walkout since 1977, and the intervention of two U.S. presidents.Officials from the Biden administration pushed the United States Maritime Alliance, the group representing employers, to increase its wage offer, which ended the strike and brought the I.LA. back to the bargaining table. After his election victory, Donald J. Trump backed the union, saying he supported their fight against automation.“This is an incredible contract package,” Harold J. Daggett, the president of the I.L.A., said in a statement.Dockworkers have significant leverage in contract talks because they can shut down ports, throwing supply chains into chaos. But labor experts said Mr. Daggett had bolstered the union’s cause by calling a strike and by establishing strong ties with Mr. Trump.“The only way they would have gotten a deal like this was through striking, showing that they had the economic power and, it turns out, the political power,” said William Brucher, an assistant professor at the Rutgers School of Management and Labor Relations.All 41 members of the Maritime Alliance, a group that includes port operating companies and shipping lines, voted for the contract, which covers the roughly 25,000 longshoremen who move containers on the East and Gulf Coasts.Under the contact, hourly wages will rise to $63 in 2029, from the current $39. That is comparable to the pay for dockworkers on the West Coast, represented by the International Longshore and Warehouse Union, whose wages will rise to nearly $61 in 2027.With overtime and higher rates for working at night, longshoremen can earn well over $200,000 a year.The I.L.A. has long opposed the introduction of automated cranes and other machines.Like the old contract, the new one bars employers from deploying machinery that can operate at all times without a person directing its moves. The West Coast longshoremen’s union has allowed such technology — like driverless container-moving vehicles — at its ports for years.But the I.L.A.’s new contract does not stop employers from adding cranes that can at times perform tasks — like stacking containers — without direction from a human. And the new contract makes it easier for employers to introduce such cranes.Still, the union got a job guarantee that management would assign at least one worker for each additional crane. (Now, one union worker might remotely oversee and operate several cranes at once.) More