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    Seth Meyers on looming recession: ‘We all knew Trump was bad with money’

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    Late-night hosts pondered a possible recession under Donald Trump, as the US economy contracted during the first quarter of 2025.Seth MeyersThe US economy officially contracted during the first quarter of 2025, with -0.3% growth that seemed to surprise even newscasters. “It’s very sweet that the news anchors are acting so surprised,” said Seth Meyers on Wednesday evening, “but come on – we all knew Trump was bad with money. He bankrupted casinos, lost a billion dollars and he dresses like a guy selling watches in a dark alley. Also everyone said what Trump was doing was bad for the economy, and it was bad for the economy.“We’ve seen recessions before,” the Late Night host continued, “but we haven’t seen this specific confluence of factors – rising prices, negative growth – in a long time. And what makes it so much worse is that just a few months ago, we had an economy that was considered the strongest in the world.“But who cares about the economy?” he added. “Trump is doing the important stuff anyway, like renaming the Gulf of Mexico the Gulf of America, not that anyone could afford new maps with these tariffs.”During the now-halcyon days of the Biden presidency, Trump took credit for the booming economy, attributing stock market gains to expectations that he would win the election. But now, Trump is blaming Biden for a possible oncoming recession. “I get it now – when the economy is good under Biden, it’s because of you. But when the economy is bad under you, it’s because of Biden,” said Meyers. “You know, Harry Truman had a sign on his desk at the Oval Office that said, ‘the buck stops here,’ which let people know the value of taking responsibility. I wouldn’t be surprised if Trump had one that says, ‘get that fucking buck away from me! I’ve never seen that buck before in my life!!!’“Thanks to Trump’s policies, we’re now staring down the prospect of rising prices and possibly even barren shelves, and his team is basically just shrugging and hoping for the best,” Meyers summarized. When asked about 145% tariffs on China, which will raise prices for most products for American consumers, Trump simply answered without merit: “China will have to eat those tariffs.“China will not eat those tariffs. We will eat them,” said Meyers. “Literally, we will have to eat tariffs because we won’t be able to afford the mangos.”Jimmy Kimmel“Sixty per cent of economists who were polled believe there is a high or very high chance of a recession, so the president now is distancing himself from himself,” said Jimmy Kimmel.On Truth Social, Trump posted: “This is Biden’s stock market, not Trump’s … our country will boom, but we have to get rid of the Biden ‘Overhang.’” He also added: “BE PATIENT!!!”“What happened to the guy who promised it would all happen on day one?” Kimmel laughed. “What happened to the guy who less than 100 days into his first presidency crowed” about $3.2tn in gains just because he won the election.“The buck stops wherever he wants it to stop,” he added. “And consumer confidence is at its lowest level since May of 2020. You remember what happened in May of 2020? We were fighting old ladies for toilet paper in May of 2020.”Kimmel also talked about Trump’s frightening interview with ABC, which Kimmel called “the most disturbing moment yet” of his presidency. “Trump says crazy stuff every day. But most of the time, you know he’s full of it – he’s bragging, lying or whatever, just throwing crap on to his vision board.” But the ABC interview on Tuesday “went off that rails” when Trump showed the interviewer a mock-up image trying to justify the unlawful and erroneous deportation of Kilmar Ábrego García to a prison in El Salvador.“This couldn’t look worse even if Trump had written it in a Sharpie himself,” said Kimmel. “Our president is falling for Facebook memes.”Stephen ColbertAnd on the Late Show, Stephen Colbert reacted to the report that the US economy contracted in the first quarter of 2025, shrinking 0.3% – much worse than economists projected. “And that’s saying a lot, because economists did not have high expectations,” said Colbert. “This is like your girlfriend’s review of the Phish concert: I didn’t know any of the songs going in and I don’t like that kind of music, and once I got there I actually hated it.”On Truth Social, Trump tried to deflect blame, posting: “This is Biden’s stock market, not Trump’s.”“OK, but when Biden was president and the market was good, back then Trump posted ‘this is the Trump stock market, because my polls against Biden are so good that investors are projecting that I will win,’” said Colbert.“It’s Freaky Friday rule,” he mocked. “When Biden is president, it’s actually me and when I’m president, it’s actually Jamie Lee Curtis.” More

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      Jimmy Kimmel on Hegseth bringing his wife to meetings: ‘Maybe she’s his designated driver’

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      With several hosts still on holiday, Jimmy Kimmel reacts to reports of a screaming match at the White House and Pete Hegseth bringing his wife to meetings.Jimmy KimmelThursday was Bring Your Child To Work Day, and indeed, “there’s been a lot of childish behavior at the White House as of late,” said Kimmel. For example, Axios reported that Elon Musk had an expletive-filled, chest-to-chest shouting match outside the Oval Office with treasury secretary Scott Bessent over who would run the Internal Revenue Service (IRS).Bessent reportedly confronted Musk in a hallway, and “the F-bombs started to fly – or at least, that’s what Pete Hegseth texted his wife and brother,” Kimmel quipped.The White House press secretary, Karoline Leavitt, “put her own spin on it”, Kimmel noted. In a statement, Leavitt said: “It’s no secret President Trump has put together a team of people who are incredibly passionate about the issues impacting our country.”“Really? Because this is Scott Bessent,” Kimmel said next to a photo of a very corporate looking, grey-haired white man. “This is a guy who is incredibly passionate? Looks like the only F-word he’s used before this is fiber. Scott Bessent looks like Will Ferrell playing George Bush playing Janet Reno.”The argument was allegedly so loud that it interrupted a meeting between Trump and the prime minister of Italy. “They say no one has screamed that loud in the White House since the time Eric got his penis caught in the resolute desk,” Kimmel joked.The host then turned to another beleaguered Trump official: Hegseth, the defense secretary, under fire this week for sending more sensitive information in a second Signal group chat that included his wife and other family members.Additionally, numerous officials were reportedly annoyed when Hegseth brought his wife to meetings they assumed were one-on-one. The Pentagon denied the reports; according to Sean Parnell, the chief spokesperson for the Pentagon, Jennifer Hegseth “never attended a meeting where sensitive information or classified information was discussed”.“Of course she hasn’t – she doesn’t need to. If there’s anything exciting, he catches her up on a text,” Kimmel retorted.“Maybe there’s a good reason for her to be at the meetings. Maybe she’s his designated driver,” he added.Kimmel also mocked reports that Hegseth had a makeup booth installed at the Pentagon for on-camera interviews, which the defense secretary denied; instead, according to a spokesperson, Hegseth does his own makeup.“The good news is, when he gets booted from the Pentagon, he’ll be able to get a job at Sephora,” Kimmel joked. “The defense secretary has a makeup room, the vice-president wears eyeliner, and yet somehow this administration spends all day every day complaining about trans women ruining sports.” More

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      Bill Maher calls Larry David’s satire of his Trump dinner ‘kind of insulting to 6 million dead Jews’

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      Bill Maher has responded to Larry David’s satirical essay in the New York Times that compared Maher’s glowing account of having dinner with Donald Trump to dining with Adolf Hitler.Maher, a vocal critic of Trump in the past, had dinner with the US president and a group of his high-profile supporters, including their mutual friend Kid Rock, on 31 March. On an episode of his talkshow Real Time on 11 April, Maher described Trump as “gracious” and “much more self-aware than he lets on”, saying: “Everything I’ve ever not liked about him was – I swear to God – absent, at least on this night with this guy.”The New York Times then published a satirical piece written by the Curb Your Enthusiasm creator, a first-person account from a critic of Hitler who accepts a dinner invitation from the Führer and ends up deciding “we’re not that different, after all”.“I had been a vocal critic of his on the radio from the beginning, pretty much predicting everything he was going to do on the road to dictatorship,” David wrote.“But eventually I concluded that hate gets us nowhere. I knew I couldn’t change his views, but we need to talk to the other side – even if it has invaded and annexed other countries and committed unspeakable crimes against humanity.”Appearing on Piers Morgan’s talkshow Uncensored on Thursday, Maher said: “First of all, it’s kind of insulting to 6 million dead Jews … It’s an argument you kind of lost just to start it. Look, maybe it’s not completely logically fair, but Hitler has really kind of got to stay in his own place. He is the GOAT of evil.”Maher told Morgan he considered David a friend, and didn’t know about the piece until his publicist told him it had been published. “This wasn’t my favourite moment of our friendship,” he said.“Nobody has been harder, and more prescient, I must say, about Donald Trump than me. I don’t need to be lectured on who Donald Trump is. Just the fact that I met him in person didn’t change that. The fact that I reported honestly is not a sin either.”Maher told Morgan he didn’t want to “make this constantly personal with me and Larry”, saying: “We might be friends again.”“I can take a shot and I can also take it when people disagree with me. That’s not exactly the way I would’ve done it.“Again, the irony: let’s go back to what my original thing was. There’s got to be a better way than hurling insults and not talking to people. If I can talk to Trump, I can talk to Larry David too.” More

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      Jimmy Kimmel on Pete Hegseth: ‘Our secretary of defense is defenseless’

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      With several hosts still on Easter holiday, Jimmy Kimmel talks the search for a new pope and Pete Hegseth’s ongoing Signal scandals at the Department of Defense.Jimmy KimmelKimmel kicked off his show Tuesday by acknowledging Earth Day – and for the occasion, the US Environmental Protection Agency fired or reassigned hundreds of employees. “I can’t help but wonder how different things might be if Donald Trump’s father had taken him camping even one time,” he joked.He then turned his attention to the top global story of the week: the search for a new pope after Pope Francis died on Monday morning at the age of 88. “Nobody is going to be more insufferable this week than your friend who saw the movie Conclave and now knows everything about how it works,” said Kimmel. “I’ll tell you how it works: over the next few weeks, 135 flamboyantly dressed cardinals will gather to pass judgment on a series of aspiring candidates and in a lot of ways, it’s the Catholic version of RuPaul’s Drag Race.”Kimmel had a personal favorite: an Italian cardinal long stationed in Jerusalem named Pierbattista Pizzaballa.“Is he qualified? Honestly, we have no idea,” said Kimmel in a prayer for the very Italian-sounding Italian cardinal to be named pope. “Is he made of pizza? Also unclear. Is he round like a balla? We also don’t know. But his name is so funny, please grant the other cardinals the strength to give us a Pope Pizzaballa.”Kimmel also mocked Trump’s defense secretary, Hegseth, who is once again in hot water over using unsanctioned messaging apps to discuss sensitive military operations. Earlier this week, it was reported that Hegseth used a second Signal group chat, this one including family members, to discuss planned strikes in Yemen.Appearing on Fox News, Hegseth tried to dismiss furor as misguided: “Then and now, however you characterize it, was informal, unclassified coordinations … that’s what I’ve said from the beginning.”“Right, but it was bullshit from the beginning, too,” Kimmel responded. “You texted the exact time and place the secret bombing would begin before the secret bombing to your wife on an easily hackable phone. And is defense for this is ‘who told you? And how dare they tell you!’”“This is like your wife catching you in bed with another woman and your response is ‘well, why did you come home so early?’” he continued. “Our secretary of defense is defenseless, but it’s not his fault! The ones who get the blame for this is the leakers.”Kimmel then played a supercut of Hegseth complaining about “leakers” – “I don’t have time for leakers,” he said during the same Fox News interview.“You don’t have time for leakers? You are the leaker,” said an exasperated Kimmel. “You leak so much, you should be wearing Depends to work.” More

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      Stephen Colbert on potential alien life: ‘Take us to your leader, we don’t have one anymore’

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      Late-night hosts spoke about the Easter weekend, potential alien life and Donald Trump’s recent meeting with the Italian prime minister.Stephen ColbertOn The Late Show, Stephen Colbert pointed out that this year’s Easter Sunday also falls on 4/20, the unofficial holiday for weed enthusiasts.He joked that it would be “the Sunday he is risen and you is high”.This week saw Trump meet with the rightwing Italian prime minister, Giorgia Meloni. Some had hoped she might “ease the tariff tension” as she is often referred to as a “Trump whisperer”.He then played footage of Meloni speaking in Italian to Trump who complimented her directly after. “I’ll have the same thing she ordered but double meatball, double parm,” Colbert joked.Meloni has now made an offer to Trump to make an official visit to Italy, a place Colbert said he would feel at home as he “looks like a pile of prosciutto with a little spaghetti on top”.Due to massive cuts to the Department of Health and Human Services, the FDA might have to stop inspections at food facilities. Colbert joked that we would know get to enjoy Tyson’s tangy buffalo beaks and thumbs.The administration is “actively trying to make health officials dumber” with halted efforts to collect data on many issues. It will now lead to “TLC’s sexy new reality show Drug-Resistant Gonorrhea Island”.This is all “just the tip of the cutberg” with the weather service also in trouble, seeing 300 employees let go as severe storm season ramps up, “when we need the weather people the most”.Colbert said that Twisters “will soon be the only programming on the weather channel”.He said that some are scrambling to make major discoveries “before science ends forever” such as this week’s reveal that there is possible signature of life on a distant planet.Officials have said that further studies are needed but Colbert expressed excitement, saying: “Please aliens take us to your leader, we don’t have one anymore.”Conspiracy theorists have also claimed that this week’s controversial all-female Blue Origin space stunt was faked. “Oh, I don’t know if I believe that,” he said. “Maybe Kubrick could fake the moon landing but you could never fake Gayle King’s sheer terror.”Jimmy KimmelOn Jimmy Kimmel Live!, the host also spoke about Easter. “If Jesus comes back and sees what’s going on, we are in deep trouble,” he said.Kimmel noted that he was “not sensing a lot of Easter spirit this year” and that Easter Sunday falling on 4/20 will lead to “some very long and confusing egg hunts”.Egg prices remain high, which has seen an “outpouring of tips for other stuff you can colour instead” such as potatoes and marshmallows, but Kimmel said Jesus would only come back for “boiled eggs”.In response to the sky-high prices, he asked: “Is anyone else tired of all the winning yet?”Meanwhile, Trump has given the White House an “extreme makeover” with plenty of gold added. His press secretary called it “the golden office for the golden age”, which Kimmel called “quite the spin”.He joked that for someone anti-DEI, he has the “same taste as Liberace” before asking: “Do you think Donald Trump understands that the story of King Midas is a cautionary tale?”He also spoke about the Meloni visit, joking that Trump probably took her to an Olive Garden to “make her feel at home” before airing a clip of him showing off “his vast knowledge of other lands”.Trump referred to the Congo and said: “I don’t know what that is.” Kimmel asked: “When is someone gonna show that man a map?”He said the government is running like a “well-soiled machine” before moving on to the alien planet news, detailing that researchers have found an equivalent of sea scum. Kimmel joked that we “may have found a new home for Ted Cruz”.The planet is 120 light years away, so Kimmel said “off you go Elon and Jeff, time to climb into those space dildos and boldly go away”.He also joked that we have a “better chance of being visited by aliens than Canadians” with tourism rates down post-tariffs. More

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      Saturday Night Live: Jon Hamm excels as Trump heads to The White Lotus

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      Ahead of Easter, Saturday Night Live looks back at Jesus’s cleansing of the temple. He vows to ride the holy area of money, which brings out president Donald “Jesus” Trump (James Austin Johnson), who once again compares himself to the son of God: “Many people are even calling me the Messiah because of the mess I-a made out of the economy.”Trump brags about his “beautiful” tariffs, which were “working so well I had to stop them … now everything is back exactly how it was minus a few trillion dollars.”As he’s done in the past, Trump breaks the fourth wall to make fun of the cast frozen behind him – he signals out Ego Nwodim for her big hit performance last week – before tying things back to the upcoming holiday: “We love Easter, we love bunny, we love hunting for eggs just like everyone’s doing in the grocery store right now, because they cost a billion, trillion dollars.”This was one of the better cold opens in a while, mostly because, for as much as Johnson’s Trump rambled, it homed in on one topic: his insane bungling of the economy.Show favorite Jon Hamm hosts for the fourth time. Although his last go-round as host was 10 years ago, he has been on the show a lot since then, having racked up 14 cameos. He extolls the virtues of cameos, which can help take “a medium sketch to a marginally better than a medium sketch, or when a monologue is feeling aimless, and it needs a jolt of energy”. Right on cue, out comes Oscar winner Kieran Culkin to prove his point. The two bicker over their respective awards, penis sizes, and which of their acclaimed cable dramas was better. Hamm is right at home on the SNL main stage.Check-to-Check Business News Channel offers “financial new to regular folk living paycheck to paycheck”. Whereas the S&P means nothing to the hosts or their audience, other signs – such as “candy bars are up from ‘sure, baby,’ to ‘put that back’,” are dire signs. Meanwhile, healthcare spending remains at zero, while millions of Americans are investing in healthcare alternatives such as “just lay down, take an Advil, or just pray it goes away”.Another financial expert advises Americans to prepare for tariff price increases by switching from name brand products such as Perrier, Cap’n Crunch, and DiGiorno to knock-off brands: Uncle Bubble (“made from pure Tennessee tap water”), Sergent Munch (“lower rank, lower price, flavor bad”), and DeVonte (“it’s not delivery, it’s DeVonty”).This is one of SNL’s sharpest pieces of political comedy in a long time, managing to make light of America’s increasingly grim financial predicament in a way that average people will actually relate to. Also, the moment where Hamm and Nwodim’s news anchors laugh off the idea of ever repaying their student loans and start singing the chorus to En Vogue’s 1992 hit single, My Lovin’ (You’re Never Gonna Get It), is a season highlight. They have great chemistry with each other.A new Please Don’t Destroy sees the guys playing investigators in a police procedural. The grim search for a councilman’s abducted niece is interrupted by Hamm’s detective, who gets way too excited over the prospect of ordering pizza for the long work night ahead. Chastised by the other cops, he turns into a little kid, crying about how “maybe I’ll have a soda and that’s all I’ll have from the pizza party!” When the lead detective casually mentions that he’s already ordered three cheese, three Hawaiian pizzas, the rest of the squad also freak out. Hamm is at his goofy best here, as is everyone else. Indeed, this might be the funniest PDD to date.On the boringly titled game show Guess the Correct Answer, Hamm’s contestant is terrified he will do something embarrassing that will go viral and ruin his life. His fears immediately come to pass when he bungles simple answers and ends up divulging deeply personal secrets about his racism, small penis and “unstoppable, unceasing” lust for his daughter’s friends. Simplistic and kind of lazy as written, but Hamm’s gung-ho delivery keep the laughs coming.HBO’s The White Potus sees Trump attempt to unwind at an exotic vacation resort, only to fall into a suicidal funk. Elsewhere on the island, heretofore absent Ivanka (Scarlett Johansson) immediately bails on her newfound Buddhism, commerce secretary Howard Lutnick (Jon Gries) pervs out on the idea of “America get bent over and railed by other countries,” RFK Jr (Hamm) rambles about fluoride in water to his confused, buck-toothed girlfriend (Sarah Sherman) before darting off to kill and eat a monkey, Marco Rubio (Marcello Hernández) is ditched by his mean girls Pam Bondi (Ashley Padilla) and Kristi Noem (Heidi Gardner) only to be seduced by Vladimir Putin (a returning Beck Bennett), Eric Trump (a returning Alex Moffat) is his usual dumb self, while Don Jr (Mikey Day) has a sex dream about his ex-wife’s current beau, Tiger Woods (Kenan Thompson).This is a welcome return not only of some former cast members, but also the blending of hot button political and pop culture topics that used to be a regular fixture on SNL, but which has, for whatever reason, mostly been absent for the past few seasons. But good as it is, the fact that it didn’t have Don Jr and Eric engage in any brotherly love, a la this season of The White Lotus, feels like a cop out.Musical guest Lizzo performs her first set of the night. Bleating out eye-rolling, self-affirming platitudes while wearing a shirt that reads “Tariffied”, her performance plays like a liberal version of Morgan Wallen’s from two weeks ago: all unconvincing cultural signaling set to rote pop tunes.On Weekend Update, Colin Jost picks up where the cold open and previous sketch left off, noting that the president’s 90-day tariffs pause “may not seem like a long time, but remember, Trump has only been president 82 days and it already feels like a goddamn decade.”Michael Che invites Chinese trade minister Chen Biao (Bowen Yang) on to discuss Trump’s trade war with China. Chen could care less about Trump’s 145% tariff on Chinese goods, asking “which side is more willing to endure hardship for the glory of their nation: the one that’s been around for thousands of years, or the one sending Katy Perry to space?” He also takes a quick dig at JD Vance by hawking his own memoir, Peasant Elegy. There are some good lines here, but Yang’s snotty schtick gets in the way.Later, Jost brings on cast member Emil Wakim to give his thoughts about what it means to be an American these days. He comes out waving flags just to buy some goodwill, before admitting that he’s conflicted: “I know we’re bad, because my life is so good there’s just no way it’s cruelty-free.” He has some decent material about ordering from Uber Eats and hipster anti-capitalist hypocrisy, which is sure to go over poorly online.Wakim’s segment feels abrupt, probably because this week’s Update includes a rare third guest spot. Sarah Sherman plays Jost’s stressed-out accountant Dawn who, between pulling out her own hair and driving her head through the set, takes shots at him over his various sexual and criminal improprieties. It’s a credit to Sherman that this regularly recurring bit hasn’t yet worn out its welcome.A gay couple (Yang and Hamm) get angrily defensive when their confused friends ask where and how they got their newly adopted (or rather, clearly stolen) baby. This attempt to send up progressive identity politics might felt relevant a couple of years ago, but the culture has shifted enough that it no longer does.Scenes of interracial young people partaking in “active fun in slow motion” are revealed to be the number one indicator of herpes. Other signs include “dancing in an outdoor beer garden with strings lights”, “winning a carnival game on the first try” or “hanging out with exactly one white person, one Black person, one Asian person, and one Latin person.” A solid sendup of medication ad tropes.The show wraps up in a corporate office during a new employee orientation ice breaker. The new hires take turns sharing a fun personal fact about themselves. Hamm’s employee, Greg, brings things to a screeching halt when he introduces himself by revealing: “My mom killed my dad naked on TV.” More bits of information come out over the course of the conversation: the show was Jackass; it was funny and sad; and a party donkey, Port-a-potty, and Raven Simone were involved. The initial gag is funny, but the rest of the sketch loses the thread.While there were a few low points to tonight’s episode – the baby sketch, Lizzo’s first song – this was one of the stronger episodes of the season. The focus on Trump’s disastrous economic policy gave it a strong through-line, the guest appearances made for some fun surprises, and Hamm was expectedly great. More

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      Jimmy Kimmel: ‘Somehow Donald Trump has managed to transform the stock market into Kanye West’

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      Late-night hosts recap Donald Trump’s escalation of a trade war that many expect will lead to a global recession.Jimmy Kimmel“What a crazy country we live in. It’s hard to remember what things we used to be worried about,” said Jimmy Kimmel on Tuesday evening, as the markets once again roiled with Trump’s escalation of his tariffs on nearly all countries. “The Dow, the Nasdaq, the S&P all down again today. Somehow Donald Trump has managed to transform the stock market into Kanye West.”Trump, meanwhile, didn’t seem bothered by the worst week on Wall Street since March 2020. Instead, he posted on Truth Social that he would undergo his annual physical examination at Walter Reed medical center on Friday. “I bet it’s going to be an excellent report,” Kimmel deadpanned. “Let me guess: his physical strength and stamina are extraordinary, his blood pressure is astonishing and he is by far the healthiest president to successfully tank the world economy overnight.“I will say, after all he’s put us through, it will be nice to know that on Friday, somebody will be squeezing his balls for a change,” he added.In light of the economic downturn, Kimmel referenced an old quote of Trump, saying: “There’s a lot of opportunity in the bad times.”“And now there’s nothing but opportunity as far as the eye can see,” Kimmel joked. “It’s a Chernobyl of opportunity right now.”On Tuesday, Trump heaped even more tariffs on Chinese imports, effectively a 104% tax on all goods. “How’s he even coming up with these numbers?” Kimmel fumed. “‘What do you think about a tariff of 100% on China? Not enough! Make it 104!’”In response, the Chinese ministry of commerce said the tariffs were “mistake on top of a mistake” – “which is also what Trump said when Eric was born”, Kimmel quipped.Stephen Colbert“The tariffs are already hitting Americans right in the joystick,” said Stephen Colbert on the Late Show. Gamers were supposed to be able to order Nintendo Switch 2 consoles on Wednesday, but now the company has delayed orders to the US because of Trump’s tariffs.“What am I supposed to do without a new Mario game?” Colbert wondered. “Take a bunch of mushrooms and jump on turtles in real life? That’s what got me banned from the petting zoo.”The markets had a brief upturn on Tuesday, when rumors circulated that Trump may back down from his trade war. Asked by reporters if he would back down or if the tariffs were permanent, Trump answered paradoxically: “It could both be true.”“No, you can’t say it’s temporary and it’s permanent,” said Colbert. “That’s like being asked to call heads or tails and saying ‘I call coin.’”But around noon local time on Tuesday, the White House confirmed that they would levy a 104% tariff on all Chinese imports starting at midnight on Tuesday, “and the market stepped on a rake and then stepped down a mineshaft”, said Colbert. “One hundred and four percent Chinese tariffs are going to make everything more expensive – iPhones, laptops, those wonderful knockoff toys you can find only at the gas station like New Style Ninja Tortoise.”As for the Chinese ministry of commerce’s response – “the US threat to escalate tariffs on China is a mistake on top of a mistake” – Colbert had a wisecrack: “Coincidentally, it’s also what it’s called when Don Jr gives Eric a piggyback ride.”Seth MeyersOn Tuesday, Trump welcomed the World Series champion Los Angeles Dodgers to the White House, and praised star player Shohei Ohtani with “he’s got a good future, I’m telling you”.“Not exactly a bold prediction – ‘I think that guy who won three MVP awards is going to turn out to be a pretty good ballplayer,’” Seth Meyers joked on Late Night.In other news, Elon Musk and the so-called “department of government efficiency” (Doge) are reportedly working with Boeing to resolve delays in the new model of Air Force One. “Because nothing inspires confidence like hearing ‘Boeing built this in a hurry,’” Meyers joked.On Friday, Trump headlined a fundraiser at Mar-a-Lago that cost $1m a plate. “Unfortunately, due to the price of groceries, they only broke even,” Meyers quipped.And according to a new analysis by the Washington Post, Trump has spent one-third of his days in office at his golf courses. “And I think we might be better off if we could somehow get that up to three thirds,” said Meyers.The Daily Show“It’s been one week since Donald Trump announced his bold vision for destroying the economy,” said Desi Lydic on the Daily Show. “And guess what? His plan is working.”Lydic pointed to a graph of the Dow Jones since Trump took office, which plunged precipitously after the president announced his tariffs. “I’m not an economist, but it’s probably a bad sign when the chart itself looks like it jumped off the roof,” she said. “Look at that drop! Six Flags is going to make a roller coaster of that.”“The president may have singlehandedly tipped us into a global recession,” Lydic continued. “And with so much uncertainty, the world is glued to the financial news networks, who are surely focusing on this story 24/7, right Fox Business?”In fact, Fox’s business network focused on the LA Dodgers visiting the White House, and not Trump’s 104% tax on Chinese imports. “This is getting really serious. We’ll know exactly how serious one we get China to do the math for us,” Lydic joked. “But point is: Trump is out of control right now. I’d say he’s like a bull in a china shop, but at 104%, I can’t afford to say that.” More

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      Saturday Night Live: Jack Black returns for a stellar episode

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      Saturday Night Live opens with Donald Trump’s (James Austin Johnson’s) “liberation day” speech, where he rolled out his disastrous tariff plan, which he calls Magda: “Make America Great Depression again.” Trump notes that no country is safe from his tariffs, including what he mistakenly thinks is a place called McDonald’s Island (“Get me to God’s country,” he exclaims in the first of two digs at last week’s musical guest, Morgan Wallen, which gets a huge pop from the crowd), as well as South Africa.The mention of the latter nation brings out Elon Musk (Mike Myers), who glitches out before whining about how poorly Tesla is doing. To combat this, he introduces a new, fully self-vandalizing model, which comes complete with AI-powered graffiti. Choice includes penises, swastikas, and his favorite: “Swastikas made out of penises.” Before he can complain about how dumb the tariffs are, Trump pushes him out of the way and wraps things up.This is a thoroughly fine send-up of this week’s big news story. Johnson is on point as ever, Myers’s Musk remains solid and appropriately mean-spirited, and the jokes about the tariffs basically write themselves.Jack Black hosts for the fourth time, but the first time in 20 years. The pressure is too much, so he decides to quit on the spot, until he’s brought back around by the band rocking out. He performs a self-referential version of Steve Winwood’s Back in the Highlife Again, taking it into the crowd before introducing a marching band for the big finish. It is a characteristically electric performance, but one that some of Black’s fans might find hard to fully enjoy in the wake of his throwing longtime friend and Tenacious D bandmate Kyle Gass under the bus this past summer after an on-stage Trump joke led to rightwing backlash.Love Match is a game show where a single gal picks from three available bachelors, none of whom she can see. The contestants include a nerdy nice guy, a baby-faced playboy, and Black’s Gene, an emotionally intuitive man cosplaying as Indiana Jones. When Gene starts to win the girl over, the host intercedes to let her know he’s dressed like the iconic adventurer, which leads to an argument about whether he has ever heard of the character. This is in line with a certain modern-day SNL sketches based entirely around the minutia of a pop culture institution; see the Matt Damon Weezer sketch from a few years back or the Chris Rock Simpsons one from earlier this season. These are usually fun, but this one doesn’t push the premise or specificity far enough.Then, Black teams up with Cheetos mascot Chester Cheetah to pitch Flamin’ Hot Preparation H Brief and disposable, but the visual of Black bent over a chair, pants and underwear down around his ankles, applying the burning cream to his hind parts as his CGI pal watches in horror, is good for a laugh.A dinner between college friends turns into a game of liberal one-upmanship, as each of them brag about how they have given up social media and alcohol, only read physical books, shop at thrift stores, watch foreign films with no subtitles, teach Spanish to special needs kids, and swim exclusively at black-owned pools. A solid fart joke can’t save this one from the fourth wall breaking mugging.We travel back in times to Athens, circa 500 BC, to witness the first performance of the first ever play. The audience, not understanding what they’re watching, continually interrupt the performance, accusing the actors of lying and tricking them–at least until they’re promised nudity. This is better in concept than execution.Kenan Thompson and Ego Nwodim perform a Jamaican reggae song about miserable goth kids dragged to the sunny island on family vacations. Black jumps in as said goth kid all grown up, singing to the tune of My Chemical Romance’s Welcome to the Black Parade. That unexpected moment, along with Michael Longfellow’s very convincing goth brat, make this a winner.Elton John and Brandi Carlile are the night’s musical guests. They play the rollicking honky-tonk song Little Richard’s Bible. This is a breath of fresh air after last week’s miserable turn.Speaking of, Colin Jost kicks off Weekend Update by reporting: “Money is leaving the stock market faster than Morgan Wallen at good night.”A little later, he brings back previous Update guests Grant and Alyssa (Marcello Hernández and Jane Wickline), the couple you can’t believe are together, to talk about spring romance. The boorish bro and nerdy wallflower explain that their dynamic works because they have ground rules: he does the dishes (“Because I like playing in the water”), she cooks (“Because I’m not allowed to touch the stove”), and finally, per her: “Don’t wear those little shorts around unless you’re trying to drop them.” The characters are clearly heightened versions of the performers, which is a big reason why they land.Jost reports on Russell Brand being charged for rape, before wincingly rolling a clip of Brand as SNL host, introducing musical guest Chris Brown.Then, in response to the White House correspondents’ dinner’s announcement that they will no longer feature a comedian at their yearly celebration out of deference to Trump, Nwodim comes out to make the case for herself hosting. She promises not to talk politics and instead only do material about the actual diner. Taking up Def Jam-inspired persona she performs a tight 3, getting the audience to shout out ‘SHIT!’ at one point. A great turn from Nwodim, whose fake material is funnier than most jokes on SNL these days.Black and Sarah Sherman play a new couple who decide to take things to the next level by sleeping together. This leads to a sensual ballad (which they perform while floating above the bedroom set on wires). But, as described in their song, the lackluster sex (“First we do things to me for a while, then we do things to you not that long”) and dirty talk (“You’ve been so bad I’m gonna … kill you”), lead them to bring in a third (Bowen Yang) and even a fourth (Carlile). Kudos to Carlile for making her comedy debut via literal high-wire act.Next, Black fronts a jam band, inviting musicians in the crowd to jump on stage and get in on their cover of Tom Petty’s Free Fallin’. But everyone who joins in – a couple of long-haired hippies, a busty wet T-shirt contestant, a crackhead, even a dog – only plays the bass. Like the musicians in the sketch, this is one-note.John and Carlile perform their second set, then the show wraps up with a black-and-white sketch set on VJ Day. We see the events surrounding the famous photo taken of a returning sailor kissing a nurse in Times Square. The nurse’s actual boyfriend, a hot-dog scarfing doofus who spent the war stateside drawing racist (even for the time) propaganda cartoons, watches in shock and dismay as she makes out with half a dozen returning troops. There’s not much meat on this bone, but the cast is having fun with their old-timey accents. It beats most of the recent episode enders.Following a quick tribute to the late, great Val Kilmer, we get the curtain call, with everyone sticking around this time. This episode was a big improvement over last week’s, thanks to them knowing how to use the host, two excellent performances from real-deal star musicians, and a show-stealing turn from Nwodim. More

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      in US Politics

      Stephen Colbert on Trump administration’s deportations: ‘It’s goodbye, habeas corpus’

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      Late-night hosts talk Donald Trump’s alleged “liberation day” of tariffs and the administration’s deportation of people without due process.Stephen Colbert“I don’t know about you, but I am feeling good about America!” joked Stephen Colbert on Tuesday, AKA April Fools Day. “Speaking of fools, Donald Trump” and his “price-raising, economy-breaking tariffs” on what the president is calling “liberation day”.“Yes, ‘liberation day,’” the Late Show host said. “I’m reminded of the immortal words of Patrick Henry: ‘Give me liberty or charge me an extra $10,000 for a Hyundai Elantra.’”“Like everything, he’s gotta make it a spectacle,” Colbert added, noting that Trump planned to unveil his tariffs in a Rose Garden ceremony. “Because when you elect a reality TV star, you get all your economic policy via rose ceremony.”Experts have warned that should the tariffs go into effect and other countries retaliate, the economy would almost immediately tumble into a recession that could last for more than a year. “So, if you have a retirement account, no you don’t,” said Colbert.“Republicans are already scrambling to pre-contain the damage, and they settled on this fun new metaphor,” he continued. That would be the “short-term pain” of remodeling a house, or as senator James Lankford put it: “a bit of a mess at the beginning but everyone has a long term look of where we’re headed”.“Way to connect to people suffering economic hardship, Republicans,” Colbert deadpanned. “You know that thing where you own a home but also have the money to remodel it? OK, you seem angry, let me try another analogy … let’s say one of your boats needs a paint job.”In other news, the Trump administration has done away with due process in deporting suspected “gang members” to El Salvador, even without any evidence. On Monday, the administration admitted that it deported a Maryland father and legal resident because of an “administrative error”; the administration also said they have no ability to bring him back now that he is in Salvadoran custody, arguing that Trump’s “primacy in foreign affairs” outweighs the interests of the deportee and his family.“If that stands, then it’s goodbye, habeas corpus,” said Colbert. “Trump’s primacy outweighs the courts. And don’t think that that only applies to folks like this detainee. If there’s no due process, we have no idea if any of these people are citizens, meaning that every single person on American soil is now at risk of being disappeared until the day that Trump and his goons are finally out of power.”The Daily Show“For weeks now, Ice has been rounding up any immigrant who they suspect is a member of the Venezuelan gang Tren de Aragua,” said Michael Kosta on Tuesday’s The Daily Show. “But this week, we found out that instead of sending these suspects to a trial or a hearing – you know, all the due process shit in the constitution – the Ice agents just fill out a checklist on the suspect. And if the suspect scores an eight or more, they get deported to an El Salvadoran prison.“Look, I’m not a legal expert,” said Kosta. “But I’d rather not be sentenced to life in a foreign prison with the same checklist system that Cosmo uses to decide if I’m good girl or bad girl hot.“And reading through the checklist doesn’t make me feel any better, either,” he continued, saying that one gets points for having a tattoo of a star, clock or Michael Jordan logo, or simply wearing a Chicago Bulls jersey.Kosta also touched on the story of the Maryland father granted protective legal status who was deported to El Salvador because of an “administrative error”.“Could it be that the geniuses who added Jeffrey Goldberg to the strike team group chat aren’t great at identifying the correct people?” he said. “If only there was a way that they could have presented this suspect before another person … someone who, and I’m just spitballing here, maybe could’ve judged whether or not the person could’ve been deported?“We can’t get one person out of a prison that we sent to that prison?” he added. “JD Vance is out there calling dibs on rare earth minerals underneath Greenland and Ukraine, but with El Salvador, suddenly they’re like: ‘Hey, sorry, no hablo español.’”Seth MeyersAnd on Late Night, Seth Meyers looked ahead to Trump’s promised so-called “liberation day” of tariffs. “Ah yes, the day we’ll all finally be liberated from our 401ks,” he joked.Apparently, the Windsor knot is the preferred necktie style for members of the Trump administration. “And the preferred length is 84in,” Meyers joked.During a congressional hearing with public broadcasting officials last week, Republican lawmakers accused NPR representatives of pushing leftwing views. “I told you they were going to come after gay marriage,” Meyers said over a photo of Sesame Street’s Bert and Ernie.And at a rally in Wisconsin, Elon Musk encouraged people to have children because the birth rate is declining, and said that having kids “will make you feel happy”.“At least, the idea of them will,” said Meyers. “You know, just knowing you have 14 or 15 of them out there somewhere, it really warms your heart.” More