You Need a Nemesis
You’ve tried shadow journaling, manifesting and microdosing. But to really succeed in life, have you considered getting a nemesis?I totally recommend it. After all, willpower fades. Apps rarely change your life. Even frenemies aren’t reliably hateable. You need the kind of fuel that’s born from unadulterated jealousy, from focused indignation. It’s a feeling that boils down to: That guy?You do not have to actually start a brawl or commit a crime or generally do something you’ll regret. Honestly, it’s probably better if you don’t tell anyone at all. Outside, I appear to be a perky suburban mother of two powered by chai lattes and a solid work ethic. Inside, I’m entertaining a vivid revenge fantasy starring both my college boyfriend and someone I worked with in 2008. This is the key to pretty much every personal and professional accomplishment I’ve achieved since then.Many successful people understand the power of a grudge — athletes, pop stars, your mother-in-law, our president. Kendrick Lamar clearly gets it. On the first Sunday of the month, he turned his feud with Drake into multiple Grammys. On the second Sunday, he converted it into a rousing halftime show at the Super Bowl. I am excited to see what he has in store for the remainder of February.Emotion can pick up the slack even after training and talent have reached their limits.Research by a professor at the Wharton School found that underdogs perform better because they want to prove others wrong. Research by me (unscientific) has found that it feels really good to stick it to people who doubted you. Even if only silently in your head.Start by taking things personally. It worked for Michael Jordan. Here’s a partial list of things he was offended by, according to the documentary series “The Last Dance”: A rival coach not saying hi to him while out to dinner. A rival player saying hi to him — “Nice game, Mike” — at the gym. Anyone who wasn’t him winning an M.V.P. award.We are having trouble retrieving the article content.Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and log into your Times account, or subscribe for all of The Times.Thank you for your patience while we verify access.Already a subscriber? Log in.Want all of The Times? Subscribe. More