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    7 Books on Grief, Loss and Bereavement

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    Psychologists, counselors and other experts share the titles they recommend most.Joanna Luttrell is well acquainted with grief. The bereavement coordinator supports families that are navigating a child’s terminal illness at St. Jude’s Children’s Hospital in Memphis.From the moment they receive a diagnosis until a year after the loss, “I send letters, resources, emails,” Ms. Luttrell said, so that families know they have support. A big part of the process, she added, involves sharing books.If there’s a “challenging relationship or situation, I might send out a book right away,” she said. “If they’re looking to process their experience, and their emotional response to their experience, I will send one a bit later.”While grief is universal, it’s complicated and highly individualized, Ms. Luttrell said. Reading books can provide perspective and help mourners feel less alone, she has found.We asked Ms. Luttrell, as well as counselors, psychologists and other experts on loss, to recommend the most helpful books about grief.We are having trouble retrieving the article content.Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and log into your Times account, or subscribe for all of The Times.Thank you for your patience while we verify access.Already a subscriber? Log in.Want all of The Times? Subscribe. More

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      Pet Policies for Delta Air Lines, United Airlines, American Airlines and Other Domestic Carriers

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      American recently relaxed its rules for pets traveling inside the cabin with their owners. Here’s what the major U.S. airlines require to travel with a pet.Flying with a pet can be expensive and confusing, with fees, weight limits, carrier size rules and the need to make sure there’s no loud barking (or meowing) on board.Recently, American Airlines relaxed its pet policy to allow passengers to bring a carry-on bag in addition to a pet in a carrier, and more private flight options have been emerging in recent years for pet owners who can afford them.Still, flying with large or medium-size dogs can be tricky, and many travelers are wary of leaving a pet in the plane’s cargo hold.For those traveling on the major carriers with their pets as carry-ons, here’s what do know about each major domestic airline’s policy.Southwest AirlinesOn Southwest, a Dallas-based carrier, two checked bags can fly at no cost, but not pets. Southwest charges $125 per pet carrier on its flights.Dogs or cats are allowed to travel below a seat in an approved carrier — up to 18.5 inches long by 8.5 inches high and 13.5 inches wide) — according to the airline.We are having trouble retrieving the article content.Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and log into your Times account, or subscribe for all of The Times.Thank you for your patience while we verify access.Already a subscriber? Log in.Want all of The Times? Subscribe. More

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      2 Books About Other People’s Money

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      A tax manifesto by Edmund Wilson and a money-themed story collection.Stefani Reynolds for The New York TimesDear readers,I’m surprised by how rarely I encounter money in fiction — not casual hints of its abundance (trust funds, oversaturated educations, uninterrupted sleep) or painful absence, but actual grimy bills, checks uncovered long past their 180-day lives, the siren calls of Klarna and Afterpay.Strange, too, that so few books deal substantively with a near-universal vexation, by which I mean the tax system. Then again: To most reasonable people, taxes are a stand-in for drudgery. They are stressful. They are unfair and, at worst, insulting. (Have you filed yours yet, by the way?)But taxes also offer ample material, it seems to me, starting with the existential questions they bring up. What is my life worth? What do I owe? What is enough?At this point I should confess I have a perverse patience for the U.S. tax code, not least because I marvel at the obstinacy of its idiom. You mean to tell me that we have recondite, intricate rules boobytrapping our finances that require a specialized degree or a Rosetta Stone to interpret, and interpreting them incorrectly could lead to ruinous fines, prison or both?And we’re supposed to just take this?Plus, it’s fun to read about other people’s money. So in that spirit, here is a selection of books that grapple with these questions. One note, to pre-empt any howls of oversight: In the same boneheaded, stubborn vein that for years led me to compute my taxes by hand, I am not including the U.S. tax system’s most famous starring role in fiction, David Foster Wallace’s posthumous novel, “The Pale King.” That book momentarily elevated the I.R.S. into a literary sensation, just as Nicholson Baker’s “Vox” did for phone sex, and plenty others have written about it. Taxes should be a little tough, and I’m not one to give myself an easy out. But I’ve always gotten a refund.—JoumanaWe are having trouble retrieving the article content.Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and log into your Times account, or subscribe for all of The Times.Thank you for your patience while we verify access.Already a subscriber? Log in.Want all of The Times? Subscribe. More

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      What Is VO2 Max?

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      VO2 max has become ubiquitous in fitness circles. But what does it measure and how important is it to know yours?Fitness is full of numbers meant to help you become faster and stronger. There’s your mile run time, your resting heart rate and measures of strength and flexibility. But perhaps the gold standard is VO2 max.A handful of years ago, the test — which tracks how much oxygen your body absorbs — was an obscure tool mainly used by elite athletes. Today, it’s touted by fitness professionals and wellness experts like Peter Attia as being a useful measure for all exercisers.But getting an accurate number requires an expensive and exhausting lab evaluation. And estimates provided by wearable devices might not tell you much. So how useful is it to invest time and money in the full work-up, and how important is knowing your VO2 max?For everyday people who want to be healthy and live a long time, the measurement is “the best piece of empirical information we have on health and longevity,” said Kate Baird, a clinical exercise physiologist and the coordinator of running and metabolic services at Hospital for Special Surgery in New York.The key, she said, is acting on what the data tells you.What is VO2 Max?“VO2 max” is a two-digit number that expresses how effectively your body metabolizes oxygen. The measurement itself is the milliliters of oxygen consumed in a minute per kilogram of body weight.As you exercise, your body needs ever more oxygen. The more you can efficiently consume, the more energy your muscles will have, increasing the time and intensity you can exercise. Generally speaking, someone with a higher VO2 max will be able to sustain a run or an aerobic activity at a given pace longer than someone with a lower VO2 max.We are having trouble retrieving the article content.Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and log into your Times account, or subscribe for all of The Times.Thank you for your patience while we verify access.Already a subscriber? Log in.Want all of The Times? Subscribe. More

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      Rut-Busting Recipes for Freezer Staples

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      Spicy ground turkey with snap peas, broccoli-walnut pesto pasta and sazón chicken breasts make frozen standbys sing.Hi, all! This is Krysten, filling in for Emily, who’s back next week after a glorious spring break.I love the freezer, a totally unsexy but incredibly useful appliance. Mine is full of all kinds of treasures and foundations for so many meals: shrimp (preferably wild!); ground turkey; boneless, skinless chicken breasts; ice cream. The freezer is a blessing (there are always dinner ingredients on hand) and a curse (the cooking ruts come fast and furious). And while I love a creative challenge, I sometimes find myself staring at bags of frozen broccoli at a total loss. If you, like me, are living this freezer-focused life — or if you’re just a hungry person looking for easy, affordable dishes — these five recipes are a great place to start. And if you’re looking for even more brilliance, Sohla El-Waylly teaches you how to make the most out of frozen fish (without defrosting!) in her latest “Cooking 101” video. (See: Millie Peartree’s coconut curry fish.)Let me know how it goes. Find me on Instagram, where I’m cooking, sewing and hugging my dog.Christopher Testani for The New York Times. Food Stylist: Cyd Raftus McDowell.1. Spicy Skillet Ground Turkey and Snap Peas Ground turkey — and any ground meat, really — freezes and defrosts excellently. Melissa Clark puts it to smart use in this larb-inspired recipe. Snap peas and herbs add freshness to this richly flavored dish, which sings over rice.View this recipe.Genevieve Ko’s broccoli-walnut pesto pasta.Romulo Yanes for The New York Times. Food Stylist: Vivian Lui.We are having trouble retrieving the article content.Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and log into your Times account, or subscribe for all of The Times.Thank you for your patience while we verify access.Already a subscriber? Log in.Want all of The Times? Subscribe. More

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      Can’t Find Eclipse Glasses? Here’s What to Do.

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      You can watch a projection of the eclipse using some common household items.Reliable paper-framed glasses are by far the most popular option for safely watching the total solar eclipse on Monday. But they’ve gotten more difficult to find in some places ahead of the event.If you’ve checked everywhere — your local planetarium, public library and even online — fear not: There is still a way to watch the eclipse safely, using items around the house. Here are a few options.Use your handsPalms up, position one hand over the other at a 90-degree angle. Open your fingers slightly in a waffle pattern, and allow sunlight to stream through the spaces onto the ground, or another surface. During the eclipse, you will see a projection of the moon obscuring the surface of the sun.This method works with anything with holes, such as a straw hat, a strainer, a cheese grater or even a perforated spoon. You will also notice this effect when light from the partially eclipsed sun streams through leaves on a tree.Set up a cardstock screenFor this option, you need a couple of white index cards or two sheets of cardstock paper. First, punch a small hole in the middle of one of the cards using a thumbtack or a pin.Then, facing away from the sun, allow light to stream through this pinhole. Position the second card underneath to function as a screen. Adjust the spacing between the two cards to make the projection of the sun larger or smaller.A pinhole box for an annular solar eclipse in Gandhinagar, India, in 2020. The larger the box, the larger the image that will be projected.Sam Panthaky/Agence France-Presse — Getty ImagesMake a box projectorIf you’re up for a bit of crafting, you can make a more sophisticated pinhole projector. Start with a cardboard box — empty cereal boxes are often used, but you can use a larger box, too. You’ll also need scissors, white paper, tape, aluminum foil and a pin or thumbtack.Cut the piece of paper to fit the inside bottom of the cardboard box to act as a screen. Use tape to hold it in place.On the top of the box, cut two rectangular holes on either side. (The middle should be left intact — you can use tape to secure this if needed.)Tape a piece of aluminum foil over one of the rectangular cutouts. Punch a tiny hole in the middle of the foil with the tack or pin. The other cutout will serve as a view hole.With your back to the sun, position the foil side of the box over your shoulder, letting light stream through the pinhole. An image of the sun will project onto the screen at the bottom of the box, which you can see through the view hole. A bigger box will create a bigger image.Enjoy the show through any of these makeshift pinholes. And remember, during totality, you can view the sun directly with your naked eye. But you should stop looking at the sun as soon as it reappears. More

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      2 Novels About Uncomfortably Close Families

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      People cross boundaries in Alan Hollinghurst’s “The Spell” and Penelope Lively’s “The Photograph.”Should you feel like a creep reading about transgressive family affairs on the subway?Librado Romero/The New York TimesDear readers,“My sister. My daughter. … She’s my sister and my daughter!” If you’ve ever seen Roman Polanski’s sun-bleached neo-noir “Chinatown,” which turns 50 this year, you can’t forget it: a defiant, tear-stained Faye Dunaway wailing the sordid secret of her troubled-heiress character’s life while Jack Nicholson’s flinty detective Jake Gittes slaps her halfway to next Saturday.I thought of that scene again recently after reading a much-passed-around piece in The Atlantic about the surprising prevalence of incest that has been exposed by test results from popular ancestry sites like 23AndMe. And I felt smugly justified in never getting around to swabbing myself with one of the two DNA kits, still languishing somewhere at home in a junk drawer, that I’d received as thoughtful but vaguely terrifying gifts. Better, perhaps, to never know that you are 6.7 percent Slavic highlander, and also that your great-uncle is actually your grandpa.The two books in this week’s column are not about that sort of flowers-in-the-attic depravity (or even the highbrow provocation of literary fire-starters like Kathryn Harrison’s fevered 1997 memoir “The Kiss”). But they do cast a sometimes-discomfiting eye on blood ties: tales of romance and longing that transgress most good people’s idea of familial propriety, and sometimes cross much starker lines. Should you feel like a creep reading these on the subway? Forget it, Jake; it’s fiction.—Leah“The Spell,” by Alan HollinghurstFiction, 1998We are having trouble retrieving the article content.Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and log into your Times account, or subscribe for all of The Times.Thank you for your patience while we verify access.Already a subscriber? Log in.Want all of The Times? Subscribe. More

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      Why Didn’t My Sister Include Me in Her ‘Family’ Birthday Party

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      A reader’s feelings are hurt after offering to fly to celebrate her sister’s 70th birthday only to be told not to bother, as “all her family” would be there.My sister and I live in different parts of the country. We’re not close, but we are cordial and visit each other every year or two. She is about to turn 70, so I offered to fly halfway across the country to help her celebrate. She declined, saying that “all her family” — her kids and grandkids — were coming for a party, so it wasn’t a good time for a visit. I stay in a hotel when I visit her, so it’s not a matter of putting me up, and there are no hard feelings between us. I am hurt not to be included. I thought I was family, too. I might have accepted a white lie (“I’m not doing anything special”), but telling me I’m not invited to her party seems hostile. Thoughts?SISTERI’m sorry your feelings are hurt. I’m also struck by how readily you placed yourself at the center of your sister’s birthday — in the same breath as reporting you aren’t close to her. (I get it, of course: We are all the starring players in our lives.) I agree that your sister chose her words poorly, but it doesn’t take a big leap to decipher what she really meant: She wants to focus on her children and grandchildren when they visit.Many siblings drift over time (and distance). And your “cordial” relationship with your sister is not uncommon: You may have been central to each other — formative, even — in early life but not so much today. That doesn’t take away from the warmth you feel for each other. She was simply being honest when she said she wanted to give her undivided attention to her children and grandchildren on her birthday. She may not get to see them as often as she would like.Your visit probably constitutes a different kind of special occasion: more nostalgic and rooted in the past. And a gentler reading of your sister’s response is that she didn’t want you to fly halfway across the country and feel neglected. So, I hope you can get past your hurt feelings and find another time for a sisterly celebration.Miguel PorlanNursing a Grudge to Honor a Friendship?In college, my best friend and I dated another pair of best friends. After we graduated, five years ago, the other couple broke up, but my partner and I are still together. My friend’s ex was unkind to her during their breakup, and she still resents him — even though they are both in other relationships now. The problem: The ex is moving to our city. My partner would like me to spend time with his friend and his girlfriend occasionally, but I think my friend would be hurt if I did. (And my partner will be hurt if I don’t!) Advice?We are having trouble retrieving the article content.Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and log into your Times account, or subscribe for all of The Times.Thank you for your patience while we verify access.Already a subscriber? Log in.Want all of The Times? Subscribe. More

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      April 8 Solar Eclipse: Path, Maps and More

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      On April 8, the moon will slip between the Earth and the sun, casting a shadow across a swath of North America: a total solar eclipse. By cosmic coincidence, the moon and the sun appear roughly the same size in the sky. When the moon blocks the glare of the sun, the sun’s outer atmosphere, […] More