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    5 Books on Healing From Trauma

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    Neuroscientists, psychologists and other experts share the titles they recommend most.When Gabor Maté was in his 40s and a successful doctor in Vancouver, Canada, he struggled with depression and strained relationships. Picking up “The Drama of the Gifted Child,” by Alice Miller, was the first step to understanding the root of his problems.“A good book gives you a map to yourself,” said Dr. Maté, now a trauma researcher and author of “The Myth of Normal.”While reading Dr. Miller’s book, his experiences started to make sense. “My depression, my self-loathing,” he explained, were a result of early childhood trauma.Trauma is a deeply distressing experience that leaves lasting effects on a person’s thoughts, emotions and behavior. It rewires both the body and mind and shapes overall health. Research shows, however, that the right tools can help us regulate our emotions and rebuild a sense of safety.Many people are hungry for books that explore trauma: Dr. Bessel van der Kolk’s “The Body Keeps the Score” has sold more than three million copies globally and spent more than six years total on the New York Times best-seller list. But there are other works that can help us make sense of negative experiences.The five titles below were recommended by neuroscientists, psychologists and trauma specialists as sources to help you understand and process trauma.We are having trouble retrieving the article content.Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and log into your Times account, or subscribe for all of The Times.Thank you for your patience while we verify access.Already a subscriber? Log in.Want all of The Times? Subscribe. More

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      Can Adults Develop Seasonal Allergies? Symptoms and Treatments, Explained

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      After sidestepping symptoms for years, the sneezing and runny nose can come for you. Here’s why.After decades of never experiencing seasonal allergies, you suddenly find yourself sneezing and sniffling along with the tens of millions of Americans who suffer from them. What happened?“People tend to think of allergies as a childhood thing” and not something they can get later in life, said Dr. Tolly Epstein, an adjunct assistant professor at the University of Cincinnati College of Medicine who researches allergies and immunology. But “it’s very common to develop new allergies,” especially in your 20s, 30s and 40s, she said. And the symptoms aren’t always obvious.Most people with seasonal allergies will have sneezing, itchy eyes or nasal congestion. But those can also be accompanied by fatigue, a headache or sinus pressure — which, if you’ve never faced allergies before, you might mistake as cold symptoms, Dr. Epstein said.If you’ve recently developed a pollen allergy, you might also experience itching in your mouth after eating certain raw fruits and vegetables, said Dr. Andrew Rorie, an assistant professor in the Division of Allergy and Immunology at the University of Nebraska Medical Center. That’s because the immune system sometimes confuses proteins in the plants for pollen proteins, he said.What causes seasonal allergies to develop?Seasonal allergies are reactions to environmental elements like pollen or mold spores that tend to swirl around in the air during certain times — such as in the spring, when plants pollinate. When you’re allergic to something like pollen, your immune system perceives it as a threat and triggers a chain reaction at the point of exposure. Antibodies in the nose or lungs stimulate the release of chemicals like histamine, which can lead to the sneezing, runny nose or congestion.Scientists aren’t exactly sure why you can develop new allergies or symptoms without ever having had them before, but there are several potential causes. For one, climate change is causing allergy season to start earlier and last longer, so it makes people more prone to developing symptoms, experts said.We are having trouble retrieving the article content.Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and log into your Times account, or subscribe for all of The Times.Thank you for your patience while we verify access.Already a subscriber? Log in.Want all of The Times? Subscribe. More

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      How to Care for a Loved One With Dementia: 5 Expert Tips

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      Gene Hackman was cared for by his wife in his final years. Her unexpected death highlights the essential and challenging job of those who care for Alzheimer’s patients.The details of Gene Hackman’s final days may never be known. But officials in Santa Fe, N.M., said on Friday that it appeared that Mr. Hackman, who had advanced Alzheimer’s as well as heart disease, had spent about a week alone after his wife, who was his caregiver, died at home of a rare viral infection.Mr. Hackman, 95, may have been among the most famous movie stars of the 20th century, but his circumstances point toward a common challenge, according to experts in dementia and family caregiving. Like Mr. Hackman, about seven million Americans have Alzheimer’s, a type of dementia, and their family members, like his wife, Betsy Arakawa, 65, often help care for them as the disease progresses.Laura N. Gitlin, a behavioral scientist at Drexel University who researches ways to support caregivers, said that when a patient is diagnosed with dementia, their loved ones rarely receive all the information they need.“No one really explains to the family what the course of the disease may look like, how to prepare,” she said. “No one checks in on the caregiver.”Knowing how to prepare for this situation can help improve the quality of life for not only patients, as they adjust to life with the disease, but also those who become devoted to their needs. Here are five tips to consider if you become a caregiver for a loved one with dementia.Stay social.People with dementia may feel uncomfortable or anxious around faces they don’t recognize, and stigma can lead some families to retreat from social life. But becoming reclusive can worsen the disease, said Dr. Helen Kales, a geriatric psychiatrist at the University of California, Davis. Isolation can accelerate cognitive decline and even puts caregivers at a higher risk for developing dementia themselves.We are having trouble retrieving the article content.Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and log into your Times account, or subscribe for all of The Times.Thank you for your patience while we verify access.Already a subscriber? Log in.Want all of The Times? Subscribe. More

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      Buying a Home? Without the CFPB, You Need to Be Your Own Watchdog.

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      The C.F.P.B. had kept a close eye on mortgage lenders. But with the bureau hobbled, consumers should take several steps, starting with shopping for the best mortgage rates.House prices are stubbornly high, and mortgage rates remain substantially above their prepandemic level. Now, with the spring home buying season looming, shoppers have a new worry: A major federal consumer watchdog has been hobbled.Without the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau, the agency responsible for overseeing most aspects of the home buying process, consumer advocates say home buyers need to be their own watchdogs.“Now, when you buy a house, you are much more vulnerable to being misled,” said Sharon Cornelissen, housing director with the Consumer Federation of America. “It’s important to be on guard, because guardrails are being taken away.”Buying a home is the biggest financial decision most Americans will make in their lives. The typical home price is about $397,000, according to the National Association of Realtors, but prices are far higher in some parts of the country. In several California counties, for instance, the median price at the end of last year was over $1.5 million, with monthly mortgage payments over $8,000.What role has the consumer bureau played in home buying?The consumer bureau was created after the financial and housing crisis in 2007-8 to streamline oversight of lenders and financial companies serving consumers. Over the years, the bureau has moved to ease the mortgage shopping process by offering simplified forms and educational tools, and has taken action against an array of banks and lenders. In 2022, for instance, the bureau ordered Wells Fargo to pay $3.7 billion for mishandling a variety of customer accounts, including improperly denying thousands of requests for mortgage loan modifications that in some cases led borrowers to lose their homes to “wrongful” foreclosures.On Jan. 17, in the final days of the Biden administration, the bureau reached a settlement with Draper and Kramer Mortgage Corporation for discouraging borrowers from applying for loans to buy homes in majority Black and Hispanic neighborhoods in Chicago and Boston. In an email, the lender’s lawyers said Draper and Kramer “considers the matter closed and denies” the bureau’s claims, but chose to settle in part to avoid “protracted legal costs.”We are having trouble retrieving the article content.Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and log into your Times account, or subscribe for all of The Times.Thank you for your patience while we verify access.Already a subscriber? Log in.Want all of The Times? Subscribe. More

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      How Consumers Can Protect Themselves With the CFPB on Pause

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      Rules on bank and credit card fees, medical debt and payment apps are in limbo. One thing you can do is carefully check your financial statements, one expert says.With the government seemingly stepping back from regulatory duties, consumers may have to act as their own financial watchdogs.The Consumer Financial Protection Bureau, the independent federal agency created after the 2008 financial crisis to shield people from fraud and abuse by lenders and financial firms, has been muzzled, at least temporarily.“Everything is on pause right now,” said Delicia Hand, senior director of digital marketplace with Consumer Reports. “So it’s back on consumers to be extra diligent.” Ms. Hand previously spent nearly a decade in a variety of roles at the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau, including overseeing complaints and consumer education, before departing in 2022.In early February, the Trump administration ordered the consumer bureau to mostly cease operations. It closed its Washington headquarters, fired some employees and put most of the rest of the staff on administrative leave, and opted not to seek funding for its activities. Several lawsuits are challenging the administration’s actions. On Feb. 14, a federal judge in Washington ordered the bureau to halt firing workers and not to delete data, pending a hearing scheduled for Monday.The administration, however, has already dialed back enforcement — dropping, for instance, a suit accusing an online lender of promoting free loans that actually carried high interest rates. On Thursday, the bureau dismissed a lawsuit that it had brought in January accusing Capital One of cheating customers out of some $2 billion in interest.It’s a stark change for an agency that had been energetic in adopting rules and filing lawsuits aimed at aiding consumers. Under the Biden administration, the bureau moved to reduce or eliminate various fees charged by banks and other financial firms and to remove unpaid medical debt from credit reports, and it fined a major credit reporting bureau for misleading consumers about credit freezes.We are having trouble retrieving the article content.Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and log into your Times account, or subscribe for all of The Times.Thank you for your patience while we verify access.Already a subscriber? Log in.Want all of The Times? Subscribe. More

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      Did You Sell Concert Tickets or Clothes? You May Owe Taxes

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      If you received more than $5,000 for online sales of “goods or services” in 2024, you might get a Form 1099-K. Don’t ignore it, an expert says.If you sold personal items like concert tickets or used clothing online last year or received money for services through payment apps, you may get an unfamiliar tax form this year.A tax law change means most online marketplaces and payment apps must send the Internal Revenue Service a form called a 1099-K, with a copy to you, if you received more than $5,000 in payments for “goods or services” in 2024. That’s down from a threshold of $20,000 in payments and more than 200 transactions. (Starting in 2024, the number of transactions no longer matters.)“As the threshold keeps going down, it catches more people,” said Melanie Lauridsen, vice president for tax policy and advocacy at the American Institute of Certified Public Accountants.Under the old cutoff, the forms mostly went to people running active businesses rather than to occasional or small-time sellers. “This substantial drop in the reporting thresholds could result in millions more taxpayers receiving Forms 1099 this filing season than in prior years,” according to a blog post by Erin M. Collins, the national taxpayer advocate, who leads a group within the I.R.S. that works on behalf of taxpayers.Here’s what to know about Form 1099-K:Who’s eligible to receive Form 1099-K?If you bought several concert tickets, for example, and resold them online at a markup, you could potentially meet the 2024 threshold for getting the form, Ms. Collins said in an interview. Tickets for big-name concerts, she said, such as performances by Taylor Swift, have reportedly sold for more than $1,000 per ticket. If the seller made money, the gain is taxable.The rule doesn’t apply to personal payments, like gifts or transfers of money to friends and family, the I.R.S. says. If you and a friend go to a concert, and your friend pays you for the ticket using a payment app, “you should not receive a Form 1099-K for the reimbursement and, generally, it would not be taxable,” according to “common situations” described on the agency’s website.We are having trouble retrieving the article content.Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and log into your Times account, or subscribe for all of The Times.Thank you for your patience while we verify access.Already a subscriber? Log in.Want all of The Times? Subscribe. More

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      I Found Pornography on My Husband’s Computer. I’m Furious!

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      A wife feels disgusted and betrayed after discovering a lurid image of another woman on her husband’s computer screen, and worries that he may have permanently damaged their relationship.When I went down to our basement yesterday, my husband’s computer was on. I went to turn it off and saw a naked woman with large breasts on the screen. It took me a moment to realize: This is porn. I feel so wronged! Why wasn’t he more discreet? I am usually receptive to sex with him, but I feel as if he has poked a hole in the bubble of our intimacy. I am tempted to find a picture of a well-endowed porn star to leave on his computer. He says he’s embarrassed. He should be! My cousin told me that all men look at porn, but I feel disgusted and diminished as insufficiently buxom. Why are men such self-indulgent pigs? Is watching porn a slippery slope to cheating?WIFELet’s acknowledge that you are really upset now — and that it’s healthy for you to express your anger. Be careful, though, not to let a rant become your reality: Your letter is brimming with unhelpful generalizations — that men are pigs, for instance — and logical inconsistencies. (If looking at porn is wrong, how would it have been better for your husband to have done so more discreetly?) I hope that you will feel less distraught soon and open to considering productive next steps.It is vitally important for couples to negotiate the ground rules of their relationship — even, and especially, for issues that are uncomfortable to discuss. Yet, it seems as if you and your husband have never talked about pornography. Our culture is drenched in it, and many happily married people I know look at it. Now that you know your husband does, too, it would be better to discuss the issue directly than to shame him or to upload images of porn stars onto his computer.Your sustained outrage will probably chill an important conversation about fantasy and monogamy — hello, romance novels! — and the possibility that looking at naked images of other people has no bearing on your husband’s fidelity or desire for you. It is not my place to dictate an agreement between you, but I recommend that you hash this out with him. If you need help facilitating that discussion, find a couples therapist soon.Miguel PorlanMy Glass, My BusinessI have decided to stop drinking for a while. My Dry January revealed that I’m not loving my relationship with alcohol these days. The problem: Since I stopped drinking, I’ve had to field uncomfortable questions when I socialize. When I say I’m not drinking, people ask me if I’m pregnant or an alcoholic, or wonder why I don’t want to drink. Any tips?We are having trouble retrieving the article content.Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and log into your Times account, or subscribe for all of The Times.Thank you for your patience while we verify access.Already a subscriber? Log in.Want all of The Times? Subscribe. More

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      How to Use an HSA to Save a Lot

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      A new analysis finds that a diligent saver who leaves the money untouched for decades can accumulate $1 million. But not everyone with an H.S.A. can afford to leave the money untapped.It’s possible to amass $1 million in special health savings accounts to use in retirement, a new analysis finds, with several big caveats.You have to start young, contribute the maximum each year and leave the money untouched for decades instead of spending it on medical needs.Health savings accounts, known as H.S.A.s, let people set aside pretax money for health and medical care.To open an H.S.A., you must have a specific type of health plan with a high deductible — an amount you must cover out of pocket before insurance pays. The money can be saved or invested to grow tax-free, and is tax-free when withdrawn and spent on eligible care or products. (The federal government does not tax the accounts, but some states assess state taxes.)Because of their robust tax advantages, H.S.A.s are seen as a valuable tool to save for health needs later in life, including costs that aren’t covered by Medicare, the federal health plan for older Americans. H.S.A. funds can also be spent on nonmedical costs after age 65 without penalty. The money is taxed as ordinary income.The new analysis by the Employee Benefit Research Institute, a nonprofit group, assumes that at age 25, a saver begins contributing the maximum allowable amount each year ($4,300 for an individual in 2025 — the amount is tweaked annually for inflation — and an additional $1,000 for people 55 and older) and continues those contributions through age 64 with no withdrawals, “regardless of whether the individual uses any health care services.” It also assumes the funds are invested and earn a 7.5 percent rate of return.We are having trouble retrieving the article content.Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and log into your Times account, or subscribe for all of The Times.Thank you for your patience while we verify access.Already a subscriber? Log in.Want all of The Times? Subscribe. More

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      Which Interest Rate Should You Care About?

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      The Fed’s short-term rates matter, but the main action now is in the 10-year Treasury market, which influences mortgages, credit cards and much more, our columnist says.Watch out for interest rates.Not the short-term rates controlled by the Federal Reserve. Barring an unforeseen financial crisis, they’re not going anywhere, especially not after the jump in inflation reported by the government on Wednesday.Instead, pay attention to the 10-year Treasury yield, which has been bouncing around since the election from about 4.8 to 4.2 percent. That’s not an unreasonable level over the last century or so.But it’s much higher than the 2.9 percent average of the last 20 years, according to FactSet data. At its upper range, that 10-year yield may be high enough to dampen the enthusiasm of many entrepreneurs and stock investors and to restrain the stock market and the economy.That’s a problem for the Trump administration. So the new Treasury secretary, Scott Bessent, has stated outright what is becoming an increasingly evident reality. “The president wants lower rates,” Mr. Bessent said in an interview with Fox Business. “He and I are focused on the 10-year Treasury.”Treasuries are the safe and steady core of many investment portfolios. They influence mortgages, credit cards, corporate debt and the exchange rate for the dollar. They are also the standard by which commercial, municipal and sovereign bonds around the world are priced.What’s moving those Treasury rates now is bond traders’ assessments of the economy — including the Trump administration’s on-again, off-again policies on tariffs, as well as its actions on immigration, taxes, spending and much more.We are having trouble retrieving the article content.Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and log into your Times account, or subscribe for all of The Times.Thank you for your patience while we verify access.Already a subscriber? Log in.Want all of The Times? Subscribe. More