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    Alexi Pappas: You Can’t Run From Your Fears Forever

    You can try your hardest to run away from your fears, but you can’t hide from them forever.This essay is part of a series called The Big Ideas, in which writers respond to a single question: What do we fear? You can read more by visiting The Big Ideas series page.“Your mommy was just so sad that she had to go.”I’ve been told this all my life. I suppose that this framing is meant to comfort me, as if my mom’s suicide was as natural, unavoidable and unfortunate as a sand castle facing its eventual collapse. I have never found this explanation reassuring, though, because she contributed to half of my DNA. I have no control over how much of my mom’s mental illness is inside of me. If her suicide was inevitable, would I face the same outcome as her? Would I one day “have to go,” too?My mom had bipolar disorder with manic depression. After developing an addiction to pain pills that were originally prescribed to treat a back injury due to pregnancy complications, she became suicidal and died in 1994, when I was 4 years old. But before she passed, she was an accomplished athlete and singer, class valedictorian and one of the first female software consultants at her company. Explain to me how, apart from genes, my mom could have so many successes … and still “have to go”? Especially since my mom’s only brother “had to go” several years later, too. Two of my own flesh and blood. They both simply “had to go”!So to say that I fear my genes is an understatement. It’s scary to be afraid of the negative traits you may have inherited. It makes you afraid of yourself. And for the longest time, the only way I could think of to avoid my mom’s fate was to rely on another, more undeniably positive aspect of my genetic makeup — my athletic ability.A researcher extracts DNA fragments at the Neurobiology lab Columbia University in Manhattan. Scientists have found that a combination of environmental and genetic factors can contribute to psychiatric illnesses.Jeenah Moon for The New York TimesIn addition to a predisposition toward mental illness, I also inherited an undeniable athletic talent: the ability to run long distances. So, I concentrated my efforts on becoming an Olympian. Because forever an Olympian, forever happy, right?We are having trouble retrieving the article content.Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and log into your Times account, or subscribe for all of The Times.Thank you for your patience while we verify access.Already a subscriber? Log in.Want all of The Times? Subscribe. More

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    I Just Went on Vacation. How Am I Still Burned Out?

    Time away can make work stress even more apparent. Here’s what to do about it.The email does not find you well.Yesterday, you were lounging on the beach, or sprawled on the couch with that book you finally had time to finish. Now, you’re staring down hundreds of missed messages.The return to work after vacation can be jarring for anyone. But for people who are burned out from their jobs — a state that psychologists describe as feeling persistently exhausted and cynical about work — the transition is even tougher.While vacation might seem like the obvious solution to being overwhelmed by work, time away can reveal just how depleted you’ve become, said Jeanette M. Bennett, an associate professor at the University of North Carolina at Charlotte who studies the effects of stress on health.How to know if you’re burned out.Burnout stems from feeling like you don’t have control over your work. People can dread their jobs, experiencing “the quintessential ‘I’m overwhelmed, I’m exhausted, Sunday Scaries’” feeling, said Dr. Thea Gallagher, a clinical psychologist and associate professor at NYU Langone Health.Burnout bleeds into the rest of your life: people typically feel like they don’t have the energy to do anything except get through the day. Family responsibilities, friends and hobbies can fall by the wayside — even if people have the time for those activities outside of work, they may be too tired, or feel apathetic about them, said Angela Neal-Barnett, a psychology professor at Kent State University and author of “Soothe Your Nerves: The Black Woman’s Guide to Understanding and Overcoming Anxiety, Panic and Fear.”Taking time off can relieve burnout in some cases — people come back to work feeling recharged and better able to tackle their workload. But when people are intensely stressed, vacation is more like a Band-Aid. They might feel better when they’re away, but as soon as it’s time to return, they become anxious again.We are having trouble retrieving the article content.Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and log into your Times account, or subscribe for all of The Times.Thank you for your patience while we verify access.Already a subscriber? Log in.Want all of The Times? Subscribe. More

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    Hunter Biden’s Conviction, and a Family’s Pain

    Readers discuss addiction, call for compassion and praise how the president has supported his son.To the Editor:Re “President’s Son Is Found Guilty on Gun Charges” (front page, June 12):President Biden lost his first wife and daughter in a car accident. He lost his son Beau to brain cancer. Hunter Biden, his other son, has just been found guilty of felony charges involving gun possession.We live in a painfully polarized time. But I would argue that, regardless of party affiliation, compassion and empathy are warranted in acknowledging our shared humanity. While pundits will no doubt turn their focus to political fallout, we should not lose sight of the big picture: These are real people, with real lives, and real suffering.Larry S. SandbergNew YorkThe writer is a psychiatrist.To the Editor:Re “One Thing Everyone Has Missed About Hunter Biden’s Case,” by Patti Davis (Opinion guest essay, June 12):Addiction is a disease, and neither intelligence, education or great family support can prevent it. Such things also do not prevent cancer, mental illness, Parkinson’s or any other disease.Hunter Biden fell prey to addiction, and as a result made bad choices that got him into trouble and have troubled his loving family to this day, even though he has been sober for a while, and hopefully will continue to be — although prison is not a good environment for an addict trying to stay sober!If Hunter Biden weren’t the president’s son, he likely would not have even been on trial for something he did that thousands of addicts do in our gun-loving society, and get away with.Can we ever get away from politicizing everything? Not in the current divisive climate.Patti Davis’s article is right on! And beautifully written.We are having trouble retrieving the article content.Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and log into your Times account, or subscribe for all of The Times.Thank you for your patience while we verify access.Already a subscriber? Log in.Want all of The Times? Subscribe. More

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    Quiz: What’s Your Friendship Style?

    Welcome to Well’s 5-day Friendship Challenge! Step one is to discover your friendship style. Do you like to plumb the depths of a new acquaintance’s soul? Or are you surprisingly skilled at small talk? We all need social connection, but we thrive in different ways. So we partnered with Kasley Killam, a social scientist and […] More

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    FDA Panel Weights MDMA Therapy for PTSD

    An independent group of experts is meeting Tuesday to consider whether to allow use of this illegal drug, also known as Ecstasy, to treat PTSD. The Food and Drug Administration is weighing whether to approve the use of MDMA, also known as Ecstasy, for treatment of post-traumatic stress disorder. An independent advisory panel of experts will review studies on Tuesday and is expected to vote on whether the treatment would be effective and whether its benefits outweigh the risks.The panel will hear from Lykos Therapeutics, which has submitted evidence from clinical trials in an effort to obtain agency approval to sell the drug legally to treat people with a combination of MDMA and talk therapy.Millions of Americans suffer from PTSD, including military veterans who are at high risk of suicide. No new treatment for PTSD has been approved in more than 20 years.What is MDMA?Methylenedioxymethamphetamine (MDMA) is a synthetic psychoactive drug first developed by Merck in 1912. After being resynthesized in the mid-1970s by Alexander Shulgin, a psychedelic chemist in the Bay Area, MDMA gained popularity among therapists. Early research suggested significant therapeutic potential for a number of mental health conditions.MDMA is an entactogen, or empathogen, that fosters self-awareness, feelings of empathy and social connectedness. It is not a classic psychedelic like LSD or psilocybin, drugs that can cause altered realities and hallucinations. Among recreational users, MDMA is commonly known as molly or Ecstasy.In 1985, as the drug became a staple at dance clubs and raves, the Drug Enforcement Administration classified MDMA as a Schedule I substance, a drug defined as having no accepted medical use and a high potential for abuse.We are having trouble retrieving the article content.Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and log into your Times account, or subscribe for all of The Times.Thank you for your patience while we verify access.Already a subscriber? Log in.Want all of The Times? Subscribe. More

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    How to Handle Caffeine-Related Anxiety

    And what to do about it.Brian Byrne, a tour manager in Los Angeles, was sipping a cold brew a few years ago when he started feeling clammy. Soon, his symptoms worsened: shallow breathing, a hollow feeling in his chest and a rapid, thumping heartbeat. He went outside to get air. “At that point, I was having racing thoughts, feeling like I was having a heart attack,” he said.This wasn’t the first time Mr. Byrne experienced a caffeine-fueled panic attack, but it was the most intense. “Drinking that coffee felt like I poured gasoline on a fire that was already smoldering,” he said. For a year after, he didn’t touch the stuff and didn’t have another serious episode.Many people can relate to Mr. Byrne’s caffeine-related anxiety. While researchers can’t definitively say that caffeine makes you anxious, it’s linked to increased risk of anxiety among people with and without psychiatric diagnoses.Why caffeine might make you anxiousCaffeine is a stimulant that affects the sympathetic nervous system — the part of the body responsible for your fight-or-flight response. When it’s activated, your heart rate rises and blood pressure goes up, your muscles tense, and you may start sweating.But caffeine isn’t the only thing that arouses the nervous system. Any adrenaline-pumping activity — like exercising or riding a roller coaster — can stimulate a response.When you’re working out or on a ride, those sensations aren’t a surprise. But the incongruity of sitting quietly at your desk while your heart is pounding, the way it might if you’ve just had some caffeine, can make some people experience that arousal as anxiety, said Joseph Trunzo, a deputy director of the School of Health and Behavioral Sciences at Bryant University. On top of that, if you subconsciously label these symptoms as anxiety, you might reinforce the effect.We are having trouble retrieving the article content.Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and log into your Times account, or subscribe for all of The Times.Thank you for your patience while we verify access.Already a subscriber? Log in.Want all of The Times? Subscribe. More

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    PTSD Has Surged Among College Students

    The prevalence of post-traumatic stress disorder among college students rose to 7.5 percent in 2022, more than double the rate five years earlier, researchers found.Post-traumatic stress disorder diagnoses among college students more than doubled between 2017 and 2022, climbing most sharply as the coronavirus pandemic shut down campuses and upended young adults’ lives, according to new research published on Thursday.The prevalence of PTSD rose to 7.5 percent from 3.4 percent during that period, according to the findings. Researchers analyzed responses from more than 390,000 participants in the Healthy Minds Study, an annual web-based survey.“The magnitude of this rise is indeed shocking,” said Yusen Zhai, the paper’s lead author, who heads the community counseling clinic at the University of Alabama at Birmingham. His clinic had seen more young people struggling in the aftermath of traumatic events. So he expected an increase, but not such a large one.Dr. Zhai, an assistant professor in the Department of Human Studies, attributed the rise to “broader societal stressors” on college students, such as campus shootings, social unrest and the sudden loss of loved ones from the coronavirus.PTSD is a mental health disorder characterized by intrusive thoughts, flashbacks and heightened sensitivity to reminders of an event, continuing more than a month after it occurs.It is a relatively common disorder, with an estimated 5 percent of adults in the United States experiencing it in any given year, according to the most recent epidemiological survey conducted by the Department of Health and Human Services. Lifetime prevalence is 8 percent in women and 4 percent in men, the survey found.We are having trouble retrieving the article content.Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and log into your Times account, or subscribe for all of The Times.Thank you for your patience while we verify access.Already a subscriber? Log in.Want all of The Times? Subscribe. More

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    Grayson Murray, Two-Time PGA Tour Titles Winner, Dies at 30

    Mr. Murray, who was outspoken about his depression and alcohol abuse, had begun a comeback after several volatile years, winning this year’s Sony Open in Hawaii.Grayson Murray, the professional golfer who won two PGA Tour titles and was outspoken about his battles with depression and alcohol, died on Saturday. He was 30.His death was confirmed in a statement by the PGA Tour, which did not give a cause.“The PGA Tour is a family, and when you lose a member of your family, you are never the same,” the tour commissioner, Jay Monahan, said in the statement.After a successful 40-foot putt to win the Sony Open in Hawaii in January, Mr. Murray rose to 46th in the Official World Golf Ranking, a career high. The event marked the height of a comeback run after several volatile years as Mr. Murray struggled with his mental health.In a news conference after winning the Sony Open, Mr. Murray said that for a time he would drink during tournament weeks.“Best thing and worst thing that ever happened to me was winning my rookie year, but also feeling like I was invincible,” he said. “I’m a different man now, and I would not be in this position right now, today, if I didn’t put that drink down eight months ago.”He added that he had attended rehabilitation for a month, and said, “I hope I can inspire a lot of people going forward that have their own issues.”Mr. Murray had failed to gain P.G.A. status for several months last year after a series of off-course events mirrored a decline in his play.A 2021 alcohol-related incident at a hotel bar in Hawaii led to his suspension from the P.G.A. Afterward, he posted to social media.“Why was I drunk?” he wrote, adding that he was as an “alcoholic that hates everything to do with the PGA Tour life and that’s my scapegoat.”The golfer Phil Mickelson, who has struggled with a gambling addiction, responded at the time on social media, saying “If I can help in any way I’d be happy to.”This year, Mr. Murray played well enough to qualify for the Masters Tournament and PGA Championship. On Friday, he withdrew from the second round of the Charles Schwab Challenge in Fort Worth, Texas, citing an illness.Grayson Murray was born on Oct. 1, 1993, in Raleigh, N.C., according to an ESPN biography. A list of survivors was not immediately available.He attended Wake Forest, East Carolina and Arizona State Universities, and at 16 became the second-youngest player to enter the Korn Ferry Tour, according to the P.G.A.He continued to gain prominence, playing in the U.S. Open at the age of 19 and clinching a win at the 2017 Barbasol Championship, sinking a 5-foot putt for a one-stroke victory.After losing his PGA Tour card for the 2023 season, and following an angry outburst directed at Mr. Monahan, he seemed to have found his swing again. He won two Korn Ferry Tour tournaments last year, regaining his P.G.A. eligibility, and finished in the top 10 at two events. More